Colin Kaepernick To Miss 1-2 Games With Severe Upper Body Rash
It appears San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick has developed a severe rash from wearing nothing under his shoulder pads.
Satirical News
Washington Nationals Shutdown Entire Pitching Staff For Rest Of Season
The Washington Nationals are reverting to their old strategy, only this time, the team is shutting down the entire pitching staff.
Royals Fans Excited To Learn Baseball Season Is Still Going On
The Royals are in first place, and it’s August. Thus causing Royals fans to geek out that baseball season doesn’t end in June like they originally thought.
Kevin Sumlin Still Trying To Learn A&M’s Quarterbacks’ Names
Kevin Sumlin is having a hard time learning the names of the quarterbacks on his team who have to replace Johnny Manziel.
Cleveland Browns Name Rex Grossman Week 1 Starter Because They’re The Browns
Cleveland Browns signed QB Rex Grossman and have already named him their Week 1 starter over Brian Hoyer and Johnny Manziel.
Roger Goodell Unveils New ‘NFL Beat It Campaign’
To try and drum up some positive PR for the NFL, Roger Goodell announced plans to unveil the NFL Beat It Program. An effort to get kids to stop abusing drugs, and start abusing loved ones.
Browns Coach Says Johnny Manziel’s Partying Is A ‘Non-Issue,’ After Manziel Invited Him To Next Party
Cleveland Browns head coach Mike Pettine addressed the media regarding Johnny Manziel’s frequent partying, and apparently he’s cool with it now that Manziel invited him to his next party.
Chris Bosh’s “I’m Staying Home” Essay
After LeBron James made his announcement that he’s joining the Cleveland Cavaliers in a Sports Illustrated article, Chris Bosh decided to make his announcement that he’s staying in Miami in a Korked Bats article.
SOURCES: SportsCenter Airs Non-LeBron James Highlight, Devastates America
Reports say SportsCenter aired an entire baseball highlight package that did not include one mention of LeBron James, and America lashes out at the Worldwide Leader.
Netherlands Changing Their Name Again, This Time To Confuse Opponents
The Netherlands have announced today that they are changing their name again, effective immediately and in preparation of their knockout round matchup against Mexico.
REPORTS: Donald Sterling Trying To Buy The Redskins, Change Name To Something More Offensive
Donald Sterling is trying to buy the Washington Redskins, and wants to rename the team to something a little more offensive.