Satirical News
Jim Harbaugh Is Still Spending The Night At Recruits’ House
“National Signing Day was like two days ago,” Dylan Baxter said. “I’ve already signed with Arizona State. Yet, Harbaugh STILL hasn’t left. It’s really creepy.”
Critics Upset With How Frequently Peyton Manning Dabs His Pizza
Over the past season, many Peyton Manning critics have emerged, upset with how often the Broncos quarterback dabs his pizza.
Mike Trout Hoping To Be Voted Onto This Year’s A.L. All-Royal Team
Mike Trout is really hoping to be voted onto this year’s American League All-Royal Team, formerly known as the American League All-Star Team.
Roger Goodell Suspends Ray Rice Again, Just To Be Safe
Ray Rice has been suspended again by NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. This time due to a misunderstanding of a tweet.
David Blatt Becomes Tickled After LeBron Asks Him To Hold His Water Bottle
Cleveland Cavaliers head “coach” David Blatt grew overly excited after LeBron James acknowledged him during a game, asking him to hold his water bottle.
Fantasy Obsessed Joe Girardi Forgets To Set Yankees Lineup
Yankees manager and fantasy baseball enthusiast Joe Girardi forgot to set the Yankees roster this week and was forced to play bad players, players on the DL, and Alex Rodriguez.
Camp For College Basketball Scrubs Garners The Attention It Doesn’t Really Deserve
A camp for the worst of the worst basketball players is garnering attention from colleges, solely to fill their quota of white guys to sit on the bench.
Draft Experts Working Hard To Unveil Enough Mock Drafts For Every Possible Scenario
NFL Draft Analysts are hard at work this week trying to release enough mock drafts to have every single scenario covered, just so they can claim to have gotten it right.
1972 Dolphins Players Pop Champagne After Royals First Loss, Might Be Alcoholics
After MLB’s last remaining undefeated team in 2015, the Kansas City Royals, lost their first game of the year, the 1972 Dolphins gathered to pop champagne and celebrate. Many believe they might be becoming alcoholics.