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Thursday, March 28, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Washington Nationals Shutdown Entire Pitching Staff For Rest Of Season

Strasburg SadWASHINGTON, D.C. — The Washington Nationals announced today that the team has decided to shutdown their entire pitching staff for the rest of the season.

“We felt the time was right,” Nationals manager Matt Williams said, as his team has the best record in the National League. “We really need to save these guys’ arms for next season.”

“Plus, other successful teams use this same strategy,” Williams added. “The Red Sox won the World Series last year, so they obviously know what they’re doing, and they shut down their pitching staff in April.”

This shutdown is nothing new to Washington, as two years ago, ace pitcher Stephen Strasburg was shut down and just last year, the entire government shut down, with the former proving to be more costly.

Williams continued, “We’re optimistic that this strategy will give us the best opportunity to lose in the NLDS again this season.”

The Nationals say they plan to use position players to pitch for the rest of the season. When asked which position players they planned to use to pitch, Williams said, “Well, the A’s Sean Doolittle, the Dodgers’ Brian Wilson, and the Cardinals’ Lance Lynn all have beards, and they’re good, so we figured Jayson Werth, maybe?”

Many in the organization feel like the team doesn’t need to worry about losing their large division lead since they’re being chased by the Braves.

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This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.

Austin

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