Patrick Mahomes is nearly flawless. Emphasis on nearly. Is it sacrilege to say anything negative about the NFL’s newly donned GOAT? Sure. But we have to point this out. It’s a gaping flaw and someone needs to bring it up. In fact, this flaw is so big, it has us wondering if it even really needs to be that big. This flaw isn’t that big on anyone else. So why does he need this flaw to be that big? It’s almost awkward how big this flaw is. Anyway, watch the video above to see us talk about this massive flaw.

The post We’ve Done It! We’ve Found The ONLY Flaw In Patrick Mahomes’ Game… Not To Brag appeared first on Korked Bats.

Patrick Mahomes just murdered Tom Brady with two simple words.

The post VIDEO: A Breakdown of Patrick Mahomes “Yes Sir”-ing Tom Brady appeared first on Korked Bats.

End of Discussion.

Not only did the Chiefs walk away with the win, but Patrick absolutely BIG-LEAGUED Tom–not in the game, mind you–but in this post-game handshake:

Now, on the surface it seems pretty cordial. Your typical pleasantries can be heard. 

“Good luck this year, man”

“You too bro”

“You looked great”

TB12 then says “Keep it up” and Pat follows up with a line that has to have rocked the core of Thomas Edward Patrick Brady Jr.

“Yes, Sir”

You can almost see Tom’s soul implode as he walks away.

“Yes, Sir”

It cut him like a hot knife through a stick of butter.

It’s patronizing, petty, savage and we’re absolutely here for it. Patrick just said “Yes, Sir” to him the way you would to a grandparent who just gave some terrible and possibly offensive advice, but you’re too respectful to correct them. Truly, the only time I break out a “Yes, Sir” in any situation is when I’m clearly speaking with someone much older than myself and/or trying to sell something.

You know Tom is going to be playing this moment over and over in his head this week. It’ll either crush his will to play, or motivate him to play another 5 years.

Dammit, it’s probably the latter.

UPDATE: Here’s a breakdown of the moment…

The post Patrick Mahomes Absolutely BIG-LEAGUED Tom Brady (During Their Post-Game Handshake) appeared first on Korked Bats.

You don’t go into Indy, when the roof is open, take the L and live to tell about it. It just doesn’t happen. I mean, I guess everything would have been better if the Colts were who we thought they were prior to the season starting. You know, the consensus team to win the AFC South? Instead, they were exactly who we thought they were when they tied the Texans and got trounced by the Jaguars. They ARE that team. That IS the team that showed up today. And the Chiefs let them off the hook?

So yeah. Time to pack up. Fire Dave Toub. Cut Matt Amendola. Sign him again. Then, when he’s about to board the plane to Tampa, cut him and don’t pay for his cab back whatever god forsaken land he came from. I’d rather have Danny Amendola as my kicker. Also, every special teamer needs a foot broken off in their John Brown hind parts so they can then run a mile.

How about that offense, huh? I guess Orlando’s last name is Brown because that’s the color of his pants after facing this defensive line that tied up his feet quicker than Ciara’s one two step. Good thing they didn’t sign him long term. Sheesh. And lets just go ahead and cut all the pass catchers not named Travis. THEY COULD HAVE DRAFTED GEORGE PICKENS. Instead, they have this dude who’s name is Skyy. And you know why the second “y” is there, right? It’s because he lost the first one in the sky when it was punted to him. Fire Veach. Yesterday.

As for the Defense. Well. They can stay. They played well. As long as they duct tape Chris Jones’ mouth for the next game.

Anyway. The year is over. Time to focus on getting that number one pick now.

*RECORD SCRATCH*

Did that feel good? Was it cathartic? Good. I’m glad. Now you know what the majority of my group texts looked like minutes after the scoreboard clock hit zeros.

Was this loss good? Absolutely not. But at least the best effort was put close, right? Nope. Not even close. But this doesn’t mean that the Chiefs are done. So stop it with that nonsense. No one needs to be fired. I would, however, punt Matt Amendola to the sun and just let Justin Reid kick field goals…

Anyway, just last season, we saw the Bills of Buffalo drop a game to the Jaguars of Jacksonville. You know, the team coached by the apple of Nebraska’s eye, Urban Meyer? The team that ended up with the first overall pick? Yeah. That Jacksonville. Buffalo ended up being just fine.

Another stat I’d like to bring up. In 2022, the Chiefs are 2-0 when Jody Fortson receives at least one target. So maybe just target him once in game? That’s pretty easy to do in my opinion, especially since ALL HE DOES IS SCORE TOUCHDOWNS. CHOO CHOO.

Finally. Lets not forget. The last time the Chiefs dropped their first lost of the season to the Colts in an extremely frustrating game, they won the Super Bowl.

So let’s all say it with Patrick:

The post It’s Time To Call It What It Is: The Chiefs Are Done appeared first on Korked Bats.

Omg have you seen Josh Allen? What about Justin Herbert? *enter star eyes emoji* Oh. And Lamar and Kyler. It’s just so fun to watch them scoot, isn’t it? And how about Joe Burrow? *SWOOOOON*

That’s cool. But Patrick Lavon Mahomes II is here to let those people know that he doesn’t care what they think. You like Josh Allen and his stiff arm? That’s cool with Pat. Would you rather have a running back play the part of huddle leader? Pat says, “Cool. No problem with me. Those are some great guys.” How about a to-cool-for-school hair-do to take charge? Patrick is fine with that too. Surfs up, bro.

How do I know this? I don’t. I haven’t yet mustered my way into Patrick’s inner circle. But lets look at a single fact. In an offseason where people were saying he was going to miss Tyreek Hill, and that they didn’t know what the Chiefs offense would look like, Patrick came out in his first game since Cincinnati and threw for not one, not two…Fine. I’ll stop doing the LeBron thing. He threw for 5 touchdowns. F-I-V-E. If he had only thrown for 3 more, he would have matched his 2022 Top 100 ranking.

Does the offense look different? It sure does. I mean, yeah, you still have Travis out there doing Travis things. But it’s no longer the Travis and Tyreek show. Now it’s going to be death by a million paper cuts. New rule. You have to take a shot every time an announcer says that this year during a Chiefs game. I don’t make the rules, I just enforce them.

Nine, which is also just one more than Patrick’s 2022 Top 100 ranking, players caught a pass from him today. 4 different players ended up being on the receiving end of a tuddie pass (and you best believe Jody Fortson was one of them). I’m pretty sure part of Patrick’s offseason plan included getting together with his brother Jackson, and also JuJu Smith-Schuster, and watching a boat load of those “Never Let Them Know Your Next Move” Tik Toks. Because that’s the name of the Kansas City Chief’s offense this year. You just don’t know which guy is going to burn you.

So maybe Patrick does care. Maybe he is taking meticulous notes (like Ryan Howard from the office) when he feels disrespected. Maybe he is as annoyed as some Chiefs fans when the likes of Jason Garrett (known QB guru) praises him, but still would take Justin Herbert over him. Or maybe, just maybe, he doesn’t care. Because at the end of the day, Patrick threw for 5 touchdowns in week one and made it look so easy. None of those other guys did. And at the end of the day, Patrick can smile knowing that Josh, Justin, Lamar, Kyler and Joe all go home just to pretend to be him while using his skin in Fortnite.

The post Patrick Mahomes Reminds The Haters That He Doesn’t Care What They Think appeared first on Korked Bats.

“But… but… the Bengals just beat the Chiefs in the regular season!” So did the Titans in 2019. What’s your point? That game was at home and took like seven downs to score from the goal line. Not to mention a missed false start.

It’s so painfully obvious the Bengals are walking the green mile this week, and the sad thing is they don’t even realize it.

Joe Burrow’s offensive line just set an NFL record in the number of sacks allowed in a game. And it’s not like Melvin Ingram, Chris Jones, and Nick Bolton are an easier assignment. They’re not going to be gifted three turnovers like they were by Tannehill. Mahomes has one interception at home in the playoffs in his career. And on top of all of that, it feels like all the Bengals have talked about this week is the Titans. The Titans that they beat last week.

Feels weird for a playoff team to continue talking about their previous game when they have a game coming up right? That’s probably because winning on Sunday isn’t as important for a team like the Bengals, because they’ve already cemented themselves as the best team in franchise history since Madonna dropped “Like A Prayer,” which is exactly what the Bengals will need to win on Sunday. Because the Chiefs are out for blood after getting embarrassed in the Super Bowl last year. This is a team that has hosted the AFC title game every year since 2018. It’s just another day at the office for them.

This isn’t a knock at the Bengals, either. They’re hella good. They deserve to be where they are. And Joe Burrow plays so much better than he dresses.

But as long as the Chiefs don’t leave Ja’Marr Chase on an island again (11 catches, 266 yards 3 touchdowns), which I can’t imagine them making the same mistake twice, then this game won’t even be close. The Chiefs are in Star Power Mario mode. If they couldn’t let the Bills beat them in :13 seconds, they’re not letting anyone beat them. Especially not a wide-eyed, lesser talented team who hasn’t been this deep in the playoffs since the New Kids On The Block were actually new. This prediction (more of a premonition) isn’t because the Bengals are bad. It’s just because the Chiefs are in galaxy brain mode right now. Nothing can stop them. Not even :13 seconds.

P.S. Speaking of 2019…

The post Let Me Save Us All The Time In The World, The Chiefs Are Winning By Two Touchdowns At Least appeared first on Korked Bats.

Kansas City, that Bills game was one of the greatest games not just in NFL history, but in Chiefs history. :13 seconds left and Patrick Mahomes is like, “I got this” and proceeds to put the whole team on his back like they’re his wife and brother. But none of it happened until after Andy Reid poetically told him, “When things get grim, be the grim reaper.”

Sure, it may feel a little exaggerated, elegant and ripped straight from a Hollywood script, especially from a guy who in everyday press conferences does nothing more poetic than comparing the game of football to hamburgers. But we just have to take his word for it that he said that right before the greatest (and shortest) drive in NFL playoff history.

So celebrate the moment with some merch that would make Tech N9ne shed a tear. Celebrate with better priced merch than you’ll find at CHIEFS N’ CHOPPER… wait, sorry… CHIEFS N’ HYVEE. Let that game live on forever with a soft, well-fit t-shirt. And why not support your favorite comedic sports blog in the process? Or don’t. Your call.

Check out our Korked Bats Store by clicking here

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Look. As a rabid Chiefs fan, I believe I was declared medically dead at least once during this game. Was it the best game I’ve seen? Probably. How many times do you see three lead changes in the last 2 minutes of the game? It was the first time my eyes had seen it. So this game was undeniably a classic. Even still. I’m here to tell you that it could have been better. Just like the lead changes during the two minute drill, I have three specific moments/scenarios that, had they happened, would have would have been the cherry on the top of an adrenaline shot of a game.

What if the Bills had moved Stefon Diggs to Safety?

In most scenarios, a fan running on the field would have been the most talked about event at the end of the game. Since network TV doesn’t show it, these types of events are constantly blown out of proportion after the game. But with Mahomes and Allen playing Rocky Balboa and Apollo Creed duking it out, Diggs’ tackle is getting lost in the shuffle. His WR stat line of 3 receptions for 7 yards didn’t add anything to the Bills offensive output. Why not try him at safety? He had, bar none, the biggest hit of the game. He might be the second best defender in the family, behind Aaiden, known defender of his favorite QB Patrick Mahomes.

What if Willie Gay Jr. actually made the biggest hit of the game?

What if Stefon Diggs’ hit wasn’t the biggest hit of the game? What if that prize had been awarded to Willie Gay Jr.? Why does this even matter? Because then I would have gotten to fire off the low hanging fruit tweet of “Man. Willie Gay just beat [INSERT BILLS PLAYER NAME HERE] like he was a Dyson.” I KNOW I’m not the only guy who preloaded that tweet into my drafts prior to the start of the game. Thanks for depriving me of that glory, Willie.

What if we got to see the Cheetah Celly?

PATRICK. WHY? You let your brother repeatedly do the same dance over and over again (even on a memorial), but you stop the guy who consistently does backflips as celebrations from doing a self proclaimed “crazy touchdown celebration”? I need this. I need to see what Tyreek had planned. I feel robbed. Release the Cheetah Cut.

Final Thoughts

I know it sounds crazy to ask for more like I’m Kylo Ren from a game that saw my heart rate maintain a 94-120 BPM through the last hour of the game. But do you know who else is crazy. KYLO REN. Never settle. Always ask for more, right? Isn’t that the American Way? Who am I kidding. This game was perfect, outside of the silly overtime rules, of course. But I’ll leave that for Skip and Shannon to yell and scream about.

The post As Great As The Chiefs Bills Divisional Playoff Game Was, Here’s How It Could Have Been Better appeared first on Korked Bats.

The Steelers losing to the Chiefs isn’t the end of the world, but it’s the end of modern-day Steelers as we know it. Big Ben’s last ride. Was it everything we thought it would be? No, absolutely not, only someone as delusional as myself would bet on the Steelers to be the one hoisting the Lombardi trophy this February. So delusional that I could have gotten better odds if I waited for playoffs to start than I did before the season. You just wanted the same thing for him as maybe someone like Peyton Manning or John Elway had. Obviously, delusion is an understatement.

Clearly, I thought all of my tweets and texts in our Korked Bats group chat with a bunch of Chiefs fans complimenting the Chiefs, saying how good of a football team they were, that they should rest their starters, and give Jackson Mahomes a crack at wide receiver would’ve helped reverse-jinx the Steelers into winning. I was willing to try anything. And for a brief moment (emphasis on brief), I thought it had worked.

When T.J. Watt ran that fumble back to go up 7-0 in the 2nd quarter, it felt like we already won the Super Bowl. I felt invincible. I was texting every person in my phone book. I was already telling myself there’s no way we don’t win the Super Bowl if we can topple Patrick Mahomes and his brother Jackson. I was smiling from ear to ear. And then Patrick Mahomes scored 5 touchdowns in what felt like a blink of an eye. Something Mike Tomlin warned me NOT TO DO!

And thus inevitable darkness came over me.

This was it. The season was as good as gone. I thought being at Big Ben’s last game at Heinz Field was emotional, I wasn’t prepared to see him go out like this. The only chance we had was winning the 1st quarter. We just didn’t even remotely have a chance, there was a reason it was the biggest spread in Wild Card history.

That game caused me to make a few irrational purchases:

Why did I buy a 1990 Hershey Park Jazz Band t-shirt? Because Hershey Park makes me happy.

Another purchase I made caused me to have a realization. I need to put my Steelers gear away for the offseason. It’s always sad but at least I’ll be able to wear this the rest of the season:

Call me Rob Lowe, because I’m officially an NFL fan for the rest of the season. I just want everyone to have fun. I love football. There will be a video to follow once it arrives. (shout out to Shop Zeds in Pittsburgh, as always, for the dope vintage)

The post Here’s How I’m Coping With My Team Losing In The Playoffs appeared first on Korked Bats.

Clearly, the biggest NFL head coaching news of the week was the decision to cast Kevin James as Sean Payton. Nothing else even comes close.

This has to be the most head-scratching, phone-it-in decision of all time. This isn’t a knock at Kevin James. I know there are a ton (read: probably too many) Kevin James stans out there who will be willing to slit throats in the name of Paul Blart. This is more so a knock at the casting director for thinking The King of Queens could pull this off.

But this got us thinking if the person who was responsible for casting Kevin James as Sean Payton was in charge of casting other NFL people, this is what we’d get.

Roger Goodell

Played by Ron Howard’s brother

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Patrick Mahomes

Played by David Duchovney

[divider][/divider]

Jim Nantz

Played by Claire Danes

[divider][/divider]

JJ Watt

Played by the guy who played McLovin

[divider][/divider]

Tom Brady

Played by Susan Sarandon

[divider][/divider]

Bill Belichick

Played by Kevin Smith

[divider][/divider]

Mike Tomlin

Played by Ed Helms

The post Other NFL Casting Decisions Made By The Person Who Casted Kevin James As Sean Payton appeared first on Korked Bats.