Monday, April 22, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Let Me Save Us All The Time In The World, The Chiefs Are Winning By Two Touchdowns At Least

This Bengals playoff run absolutely reeks of the Titans playoff run in 2019. A team that no one really expected to make a run wins their Wild Card game, then goes on the road and beats the #1 seed in their barn, and then goes on the road again in Arrowhead. I’m sure the Bengals will take an early lead, like the Titans did in ‘19, and then the power of the Chiefs will just overtake them.

“But… but… the Bengals just beat the Chiefs in the regular season!” So did the Titans in 2019. What’s your point? That game was at home and took like seven downs to score from the goal line. Not to mention a missed false start.

It’s so painfully obvious the Bengals are walking the green mile this week, and the sad thing is they don’t even realize it.

Joe Burrow’s offensive line just set an NFL record in the number of sacks allowed in a game. And it’s not like Melvin Ingram, Chris Jones, and Nick Bolton are an easier assignment. They’re not going to be gifted three turnovers like they were by Tannehill. Mahomes has one interception at home in the playoffs in his career. And on top of all of that, it feels like all the Bengals have talked about this week is the Titans. The Titans that they beat last week.

Ahh, yes. The team that lost on a walk-off field goal and set an NFL record by knocking your quarterback on his ass nine times must’ve been terrified.

Feels weird for a playoff team to continue talking about their previous game when they have a game coming up right? That’s probably because winning on Sunday isn’t as important for a team like the Bengals, because they’ve already cemented themselves as the best team in franchise history since Madonna dropped “Like A Prayer,” which is exactly what the Bengals will need to win on Sunday. Because the Chiefs are out for blood after getting embarrassed in the Super Bowl last year. This is a team that has hosted the AFC title game every year since 2018. It’s just another day at the office for them.

This isn’t a knock at the Bengals, either. They’re hella good. They deserve to be where they are. And Joe Burrow plays so much better than he dresses.

But as long as the Chiefs don’t leave Ja’Marr Chase on an island again (11 catches, 266 yards 3 touchdowns), which I can’t imagine them making the same mistake twice, then this game won’t even be close. The Chiefs are in Star Power Mario mode. If they couldn’t let the Bills beat them in :13 seconds, they’re not letting anyone beat them. Especially not a wide-eyed, lesser talented team who hasn’t been this deep in the playoffs since the New Kids On The Block were actually new. This prediction (more of a premonition) isn’t because the Bengals are bad. It’s just because the Chiefs are in galaxy brain mode right now. Nothing can stop them. Not even :13 seconds.

P.S. Speaking of 2019…


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.