Now sure, this feud started a few weeks back with Charles Barkley making some side comments about Golden State Warriors power forward Draymond Green.

So naturally, Draymond took the high road and just ignored what Chuck said, and refused to make a mountain of a molehill.

Oh wait, nevermind. This is a guy who kicks people in the nuts for sport, so of course he fired back the next time someone stuck a mic in his face.

Solid rebuttal. A little cheap and cliche for Draymond to bust out the “rings” argument, especially considering he was like the third or fourth most important man for his team’s three rings, and you could argue that he cost his team a fourth. And on top of that, you could legitimately make a serious debate of who’s career would you rather have, Chucks or Draymonds.

But just when you thought this fight was over, Chuck comes flying off the top rope. How someone as large as him even got up onto the top rope is beyond me, but my man went War Eagle on Draymond’s ass during The Dan Patrick Show yesterday.

Straight boy band smack. Incredible. And so damn relatable.

Every boy band has that one guy who could get sick with coronavirus on a world tour, have to miss a couple legs, and no one would even notice. We all know the reason most of those boy bands have the number of guys they have is for symmetry and aesthetics.

But this point by Chuck got me thinking. If Charles Barkley says Draymond is the 4th guy in every boy band, then who is the Draymond of every boy band?

So I went ahead and hit you with the member of each boy band who isn’t really needed for the band’s success.

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Backstreet Boys – Howie Dorroh

Question: how many of you knew Howie’s last name before I just wrote up there just now? For everyone who raised their hand at their computer or phone (like an idiot), then you would know that it’s actually spelled DOROUGH! This only plays into my point more.

Not to height shame here, but he is one of the shortest – which is not a deterrent against him, but it is when he does nothing else to make himself stand out. No facial hair. No cool hats. Not even a scar or birthmark.

Everyone obviously knows (and loves) Nick Carter, and not just because his brother wrote those bangers Aaron’s Party (Come Get It) and That’s How I Beat Shaq, mainly because he was the one the girls would “woo” the loudest for. Brian Litrell was also a chick magnet. Kevin Richardson looks like if Matt Dillon could dance, and that leaves AJ and Howie. And sorry, Howard. AJ has a beard and always wears wide-brim hats.

Not to mention, when you Google Image search Backstreet Boys, he’s the TENTH search option, even behind *NSYNC who, may I remind you, is a totally different and competing boy band.

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*NSYNC – Chris Kirkpatrick

The easy answer here would be Joey Fatone, right? Sure, but that’s not the right answer. Fatone at least gained notority with the spelling of his last name being FAT ONE, which make sense considering his weight compared to the rest of the gang. Everyone else had their thing. JC was the older, skinnier one with an exotic last name. Lance was the gay astronaut. And the only thing Justin Timberlake was obviously known for was his brief role in the 2006 film Black Snake Moan. All Chris Kirkpatrick is known for is rocking weird hair (sorry, weirder than everyone else’s weird hair) and wearing random sports jerseys. Pretty sure no girls had a Chris Kirkpatrick poster hanging up in their bedrooms. I mean, the guy looked like he moonlighted as the lead singer of Counting Crows. Sorry, Chrispatrick, you’re the Draymond.

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New Kids On The Block – Danny Wood

Sorry, Dan. But when you’re the only one of the gang who isn’t brothers with Mark Wahlberg or anyone else in the band, you get left out. Plus, look at his face in that picture above. My man looks like he knows he’s the Draymond of his band.

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Jonas Brothers – Kevin Jonas

This one wasn’t even hard.

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The Beatles – George Harrison

Now look, I don’t like to speak ill of the dead. And to be honest, this isn’t exactly speaking ill. On the Mount Rushmore of Beatles, George’s face is still on it. And yeah, I know the joke is always on Ringo Starr for his inability to write good music (general consensus, not my opinion).

But George Harrison is still the Draymond, the 4th member of that band. But hey, look at the bright side, George. At least you’re not the 5th member of that band (cough Pete Best cough).

Although, I do have to give George major props for writing Piggies, a top five Beatles song all-time.

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98 Degrees – I’m Not Even Going To Answer This One

I’m just going to show you a bunch of photos and you tell me, because one of these things is not like the other.

*ding, ding, ding* If you said Justin Jeffre, come collect your prize. I’m not going to say this guy sticks out like a sore thumb, I’m just going to say he looks like a thumb.

In every picture of this band, he looks like their manager. Did he win a contest to be the fourth member of this band? If the band is 98 Degrees, then he’s, at most, 45 degrees, because he’s not even half as hot as the other dudes.

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The Jackson 5 – Marlon Jackson

You have to know that anyone who shares a name with the baseball team in Miami is going to finish last.

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O-Town – Everyone

Look, we all loved All or Nothing. In fact, I’ll admit that song still bangs. But that doesn’t mean the members of the band do. I don’t even want to call these guys all Draymond’s, because that would be a knock at Draymond. These guys are more like the Charlotte Hornets. Sure, they’re good enough to be in the hunt for a boy band playoff spot, but can you even name one guy on their roster?

The post Who Is The ‘Draymond Green’ of Every Boy Band? appeared first on Korked Bats.

[dropcap] W [/dropcap] hat’s the dad bod? It’s a body that shows you workout… sometimes, but lounge around doing nothing the rest of the time. It’s not fat, but it’s definitely not skinny. It’s like the Cincinnati Bengals of bodies.

.

Kind of good, but mostly not. It’s basically a body that says, “I workout sometimes, but eat pizza the rest of the time,” or “I do my best to stay in shape, with that shape being a rectangle with rounded edges,” or even “Don’t make me turn this car around.” “Do you want to be grounded?” “Money doesn’t grow on trees.” “Don’t tell your mother.” “Do what your mother says.” “You’re not going out dressed like that.” “Nobody said life is supposed to be fair.” “Has anyone seen my plaid cargo shorts?!” and other things dads say!

With that said, there are a lot of dad bods in the world of sports. So we took it upon ourselves to sift through thousands of Google images of chubby athletess with their shirts off to provide you the definitive ranking of the 20 Best Dad Bods In Sports. Enjoy… but not too much, because it’s kind of gross.

You can click on the images below for a closer look, but you shouldn’t.

20. Andy Roddick

He’s not fat. It just looks like his skin is a wetsuit that’s three sizes too large. Flabby skin with no definition = total dad bod.

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19. Marshawn Lynch

Marshawn Lynch is just here so he won’t get fat. He’s just about that dad bod, boss.

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18. Brian Scalabrine

Who would’ve guessed Brian Scalabrine had a dad bod under his jersey? Answer: Everybody. Everybody would’ve guessed that.

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17. Charles Barkley

Old school Charles Barkley had the ultimate dad bod. Today’s Charles Barkley has the ultimate mom bod. (Read: he now has saggy boobs.)

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16. Andrew Bynum

His shoulders are somewhat defined, which clearly says, “I workout three days a week.” However, the rest of his body is not defines, which says, “I eat junk food four days a week.”

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15. Hulk Hogan

More like Dad Bod Hogan, amirite? Sorry, that was a dad joke.

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14. Tom Brady

For Tom Brady and his diet, everyday is a cheat day.

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13. Boris Diaw

Those aren’t necessarily washboard abs as much as they are Tempur-Pedic pillow abs.

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12. Nick Punto

Nick Punto already has the dad bod of names, so it only makes sense that he has an actual dad bod too. Thank you to the St. Louis Cardinals for ripping off his jersey to prove his dad bod status to us.

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11. Aaron Rodgers

Compared to most men from Green Bay, Wisconsin, Aaron Rodgers is considered to have the body of a Greek God.

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10. Peyton Manning

Nevermind the fact that Peyton Manning has the Curtis Painter of bodies… Wearing your shirt in the pool when your over the age of 14 and/or not enrolled in fat camp is automatic grounds for dad bod status, regardless of what your body looks like.

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9. Jameis Winston

For a guy who won the National Championship in the Rose Bowl, he has the body of the Belk Bowl.

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8. Joe Montana

This actually seems like the body-type a Sketchers Shape-Ups endorser would have.

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7. Matthew Stafford

Probably the only ranking in the history of the world where Matthew Stafford would rank higher than Joe Montana.

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6. Magic Johnson

Regardless of what Magic Johnson’s body looks like, this photo of him laughing at something Tom Arnold is saying proves he is a dad bod at heart.

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5. JaMarcus Russell

Look at those man boobs. JaMarcus Russell is a bust with a bust.

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4. Hyun Jin Ryu

Nevermind the fact that he looks like the little kid from UP, Hyun Jin Ryu and his tan-lines provide for the perfect dad bod. Fun Fact: Google Translator told me that “Hyun Jin Ryu” is Korean for The Squishy Dodger.

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3. Pete Rose

Keep in mind, this picture was taken during the prime of Pete Rose’s career, when his body was in peak physical condition. Also, his hairiness obviously helped in his dad bod ranking.

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2. Steve Spurrier

This former Heisman Trophy winner would be a finalist for the Dad Bod Heisman Trophy, which would rightfully be called the Hellmann’s Trophy.

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1. Eli Manning

And the best dad bod in sports goes to Eli Manning. If Eli Manning’s body was a football play, it would be a 6-yard hitch route on 3rd and 9. His body simultaneously says both, “I’ve been married for years,” and “I’m the quarterback for the New York Giants.” So basically, it says, “I’ve given up.”

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Leave a comment below with any that you think we missed.

The post The 20 Best Dad Bods In Sports appeared first on Korked Bats.

Here are a few thoughts:

• One of these men will be responsible for starting the third World War. The other is Barack Obama
• The leader of the free world did a sit-down interview with a guy who was in Space Jam.
• This is the most boring Weight Watchers commercial ever.
• Really hope Charles Barkley isn’t giving Obama advice on how to run the country.
• YES WE CAN!*  (* – Does not apply to winning an NBA Championship.)

• • •

This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post PICTURE: Charles Barkley Interviews Barack Obama appeared first on Korked Bats.

Good for you, Mayor Castro. Glad to see you can defend the Alamo better than San Antonio’s first residents.

• • •

This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post San Antonio’s Mayor Rips Charles Barkley appeared first on Korked Bats.

We have to say it now. It rolls off the tongue just like “Academy Award Winning Hip-Hop Group, Three-Six Mafia.”

The Sports Emmys were handed out on Monday night, an event that no one covers because everyone that would possibly cover or care about them is sitting in the audience. When the award for best studio analyst came around, there were three or four confident nominees and Charles Barkley. Lo, the winner’s name was called, and it was bumbling Weight Watchers spokesman Charles Barkley, who won like a man.

“I jus think it’s somthin that certainly is great and if they wanna hand it out then yep,” Barkley had to say on the matter,

“I’m Charles Barkley.” he continued.

When asked if he had any praise for his co-commentator, Shaq remarked:

“The ginormous shaqtonomous, shaq-fu wants to tell Sir Charles a Shaq-sized congratulations.”

Charles was unable to be at the awards ceremony because he was mumbling his way through the words, “I just think better defense would help prevent the other team from scoring more points,” during halftime of a playoff game.

Barkley became confused when he was informed that winning a Emmy did not earn you a contract, paycheck, or even prize money.

“Why would people want to Emmy, then?” Barkley seemed confused. Barkley paused for a moment and then stormed out of the interview when asked whether or not winning an Emmy helped ease the pain of knowing that Adam Morrison still had two more championship rings than he [Barkley] ever would.

• • •

This post was created by Kyle. You can follow his jokes on Twitter: @kyleayers

Also, be sure to follow Korked Bats and our sports-filled jokes on Twitter: @korkedbats

The post Charles Barkley Extremely Confused About Emmy appeared first on Korked Bats.

Charles Barkley

Charles told me that he is giving up Weight Watchers. He explained that he is finally happy with who he is on the inside and that he is not just a piece of meat to dangle in front of the ladies.

Jeremy Lin

Don’t worry, I didn’t just jump on the Jeremy Lin friendship bandwagon because he is finally making some baskets, but Lin is giving up his dream to go back to Harvard for that ever coveted Law Degree. Enjoy your 40 days, New York.

Anthony Davis

Anthony is giving up that Taylor Swift surprised face. He did decide to keep the unibrow though. That just seems really stubborn of him, but it could be where the power comes from. In that case, maybe someone should pluck it for him in the night. Just an idea for you other SEC teams to try.

NASCAR

I know it seems like I couldn’t really be friends with NASCAR as a whole, but I am. And NASCAR explained that for the next 40 days they are going to just give up trying. Gas Prices were the main reason, but also they mentioned nobody showing up at the races. And that maybe their families were tired of coming to every race. And that they were a little tired of luring inviting their friends with the promise of free food and massages.

Vince Wilfork

Vince Wilfork is going to give up pigs in a blanket for 40 days. He was using them as a nutritional crutch and it is starting to weigh him down.

And one more, for good measure and nothing to do with “sports”…

Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan is going double this year. She is going to give up 1. Being Sober and 2. Listening to Rap Music. It’s just getting in her head and she is starting to hate women and her urge to get larger rims is starting to get overwhelming.

There were so many other celebrities that confided in me, but you will just have to call me to get the full deets. But I’m not going to lie, I’m pretty busy. Unless you are a celebrity.

• • •

This post is a part of our bi-weekly The Ladies Room posts for Korked Bats.

Follow The Ladies Room on Twitter: @KBLadiesRoom – Or follow Erin, TLR writer: @erinmcgown

As always, be sure to follow Korked Bats and our up-to-the-minute sports jokes: @korkedbats

The post Lent Secrets, Revealed appeared first on Korked Bats.

I. love. Charles. Barkley.

Sometimes you don’t know why you love a random celebrity and or athlete and sometimes you do.

I know why I love Charles Barkley. And I want you to know why.

No, Charles Barkley isn’t a spring chicken. Maybe he was born on February 20, 1963. Maybe that means that when he was on the top of his game, I was 10 years old, but how can you even think about that when he is so handsome? Not only is he an amazing basketball player and a published author, but he is also in touch with his feminine side. And since this is THE LADIES ROOM, I thought I would take a moment to point out just how sensitive and empathetic he is with us, the ladies.

1.  He has been focusing on making a clothing line that is strong enough for a man, PH Balanced for a woman (That is a trademark of Secret Deodorant, not to be confused with my really catchy phrases and sayings).

Yes, his pants are tapered to show off a very shapely leg and there is clearly nothing wrong with that.  He is even standing in such a way that makes his legs look extra slim and toned.  The trick of every lady.  The way he is even tilting his head to the side shows that he understands our, “I’m not that cute, am I?” look.  Sir Charles, how do you know all of our secrets?

2.  He is empathetic with our needs to be physically fit and smoking hot because of outside pressure.

Yes, he is tired of being a little overweight.  He is tired of people calling him Round Mound of Rebound (This is real. موقع المراهنات العالمي This is a real nickname that someone thought was a good idea. Oh, hey kinda chubby basketball player that speaks his mind and has big muscles, lets call you Round Mound. Why not “Fat Guy” or “Little Debbie Snack Cakes”?) Yes, Charles Barkley is okay with being the man that represents something really girly. betfinal بالعربي  And yes, he looks handsome.  When he was on Saturday Night Live this past weekend, he discussed being very hungry.  Probably because Weight Watchers for men, consists of them only eating these.

3.  Charles will also understand when you say, “my pantyhose are all twisted up, just give me a sec.” Or when you say, “Does my lipstick go well with my eyeshadow?” Or even, “Can I borrow that necklace because it would go so good with my outfit? لعبة بينغو ”

I think Charles knows what a lady feels. He is not afraid to go the extra mile. Not every guy is willing to put on a nice head of hair and lipstick to show you that he understands you. Charles can and will wear a silk blouse and not even complain about it. He will tuck some of his hair behind his ear because he knows that the face is the money is made. He also understands the importance of lip gloss and tasteful jewelry.

Sir Charles Barkley,

I hope when you read this, you understand that I never once mixed you up with that one band with the little guy with the T-Rex arms as the lead singer. I have bought your book and put it on my bookshelf, like any good American should. I know that your best years were with the Phoenix Suns and that you always hated Michael Jordan just a little bit. I know that you have struggled with your weight and now you are being so brave to try weight watchers as a man. Please come out of retirement and play a little baseball. We (and by we, I mean me) miss you.

Love always and forever,

Erin.

Ladies, I know you are all fighting back feelings now. Who wouldn’t want to date an ex-NBA superstar who is sensitive and caring and on weight watchers?

But, I have first dibs. You hear me? First. Dibs.

So back off, slores!

• • •

This post is a part of our bi-weekly The Ladies Room posts for Korked Bats.

Follow The Ladies Room on Twitter: @KBLadiesRoom – Or follow Erin, TLR writer: @erinmcgown

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The post My Man, Charles Barkley appeared first on Korked Bats.

Some sports stars seem to have it all this holiday season, but after I started doing some interviewing, I began to see that even though they have all the money and fame, they still want other things as well.

Charles Barkley wants two things: 1. for you to watch him on Saturday Night Live on January 7th, 2012, and 2. for people to start calling him Sir Charles again.

David Beckham wants three things for Christmas: 1. He would like to change the name of the Galaxy to anything else, 2. He would like his wife to eat a sandwich or anything else, and 3. He would like her to have one more sandwich after that.

Alex Rodriguez would like to not have blue eyes because then maybe Madonna would leave him alone already.

Kim Zmeskal would like to be known for more than her body.

LeBron James would like to be a Pheonix. As in University of Phoenix. As in he wants to go to online college.

Larry Bird is asking for short shorts to come back in style, in time for the new NBA season to start.

Picaboo Street is just asking for a new sport to learn in case Global Warming really takes off.  Also she is asking that people stop doing that peek-a-boo thing when they meet her for the first time. She insists that it does get less funny over time.

Dominique Dawes is asking that she would get to play the sister of Zoe Saldana in the next Avatar movie.  Dominique would also ask that people stop asking if she played Lisa Turtle on Saved by the Bell.

Michelle Kwan would like to thank Tonya Harding for not seeing her as a threat.

Peyton and Eli Manning would like a Christmas where their dad didn’t talk about how they are ruining fantasy football or what life would have been like if one of his sons would actually do something worth while.

Cooper Manning would like a new non-athletic family.

Andy Roddick would like to do more with his next thirty years. Maybe eat a few more salads and not stay up so late. Maybe drink more lemonade and not so many beers. And, I don’t know, maybe win a grand slam.

Tim Tebow wants more eye black. Also, for every girl to stop trying to propose to him. And finally he would like for the aforementioned girls to start ranking the brilliance of his blue eyes on a scale of 1 to Frank Sinatra.

Oh, and Tim Tebow is also asking for World Peace.

No, not you, Metta.

Lastly, Tim Tebow is asking for kids to stop getting in trouble for taking a knee in the hallways of their schools, and to not get in trouble for wearing those jeans with pockets big enough for math books. Or any other sinful nonsense.

Tim had more requests that I didn’t have time to write down. I hope all of you have a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays and thanks for spending some time in The Ladies Room. Don’t forget to wash your hands on your way out. I know I do.

• • •

This post is a part of our bi-weekly The Ladies Room posts for Korked Bats.

Follow The Ladies Room on Twitter: @KBLadiesRoom – Or follow Erin, TLR writer: @erinmcgown

As always, be sure to follow Korked Bats and our up-to-the-minute sports jokes: @korkedbats

The post All Athletes Want For Christmas Is… appeared first on Korked Bats.

Charles Barkley

Such a sassy basketball player.  You never quite know what he will say next.

Girls just love a bad guy with a good heart.

Joe Montana

I miss Joe Montana being so good at football and being so good looking at the same time.

I miss wondering if his hair was naturally highlighted by the sun.

I miss how his name was so easy to remember because of it’s direct correlation to one of the fifty states.

The orange alien from SPACE JAM

Okay, who didn’t love Space Jam?  Who didn’t believe they could touch the sky?

For as short of arms as this little alien had, he didn’t let that stop him from turning into a giant basketball playing machine after having Patrick Ewing’s powers.

He didn’t let these little arms stop him from doing anything.

Just like this woman :

Larry Bird and Magic Johnson

I miss the old jerseys.  I miss the feathered bangs.  I miss these two best friends.

And I miss wondering who would age better than the other.

Randy Johnson(‘s Mullet)

Randy Johnson didn’t do anything without his mullet.  It was always just sitting there below the surface, waiting to do business and or party.  Where do you think Randy got the strength to throw 100 mile per hour fastball?  The mullet.

This list can and will go on forever, like Celine Dion’s heart, but this is where I will draw the line tonight.  Also know that Michael Jordan is always at the top of my list for everything except for maybe the list of local dentists.  I wouldn’t go to Michael Jordan to do work on my teeth.

The post The Good Ole Days. appeared first on Korked Bats.

Sports are at peak excitement right now.  We are all on the edge of our seats to see who is going to win four out of seven games in the first of four rounds of the NBA Finals. Riveting.  Then we have the hockey playoffs.  They are like the World Cup for any city lucky enough to host an NHL team.  That one city is excited, but the rest of America has no idea that anything different is going on.  Golf is getting back in the swing of things (see what I did there?).  And the baseball season is already shaping up to be an eventful season, especially for the players that used to do steroids in the prime of their baseball performance.  Right now the only thing that is keeping me going during this dry sports spell is knowing that the Lakers could be knocked out of the playoffs any minute by the Hornets.  HA.  No Lakers 3-peat.  No more 3-peats for Phil Jackson.  No more 3-peats for Peter Jackson.

So, during this sports down time I have started looking into a few ideas to get us through until football season starts again.

See what you think…

1. Referee Fight Club.  The only rule of this Referee Fight Club is that we WILL talk about it.  And put it on TV.

2. Give the WNBA a reality show where the best looking WNBA players are picked to live in a house and see what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real.

3. Have Charles Barkley wear a monocle all of the time.

4. After March Madness we should follow those basketball players back into the classroom and watch them as they get ready for finals.  Who is a flashcard maker, who wings it, and who just studies and studies and studies, but still gets a C- in Geology.

5. And since we have nothing better to do, for number 5.  Let’s see if we can get Donald Trump to actually run for President.

So during this time of college baseball and watching Remember the Titans on repeat, just remember that we will have months and months more of baseball so settle in eat some hot dogs and sign my petition for that Referee Fight Club.  That junk could be huge.

• • •

Guys and girls, be sure to follow The Ladies Room on Twitter for more sports fun from a lady who knows little about sports but a lot about fun: @LadiesRoomKB

The post Sports Slump appeared first on Korked Bats.