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My Man, Charles Barkley

Spoiler Alert.

I. love. Charles. Barkley.

Sometimes you don’t know why you love a random celebrity and or athlete and sometimes you do.

I know why I love Charles Barkley. And I want you to know why.

No, Charles Barkley isn’t a spring chicken. Maybe he was born on February 20, 1963. Maybe that means that when he was on the top of his game, I was 10 years old, but how can you even think about that when he is so handsome? Not only is he an amazing basketball player and a published author, but he is also in touch with his feminine side. And since this is THE LADIES ROOM, I thought I would take a moment to point out just how sensitive and empathetic he is with us, the ladies.

1.  He has been focusing on making a clothing line that is strong enough for a man, PH Balanced for a woman (That is a trademark of Secret Deodorant, not to be confused with my really catchy phrases and sayings).

Yes, his pants are tapered to show off a very shapely leg and there is clearly nothing wrong with that.  He is even standing in such a way that makes his legs look extra slim and toned.  The trick of every lady.  The way he is even tilting his head to the side shows that he understands our, “I’m not that cute, am I?” look.  Sir Charles, how do you know all of our secrets?

2.  He is empathetic with our needs to be physically fit and smoking hot because of outside pressure.

Yes, he is tired of being a little overweight.  He is tired of people calling him Round Mound of Rebound (This is real. موقع المراهنات العالمي This is a real nickname that someone thought was a good idea. Oh, hey kinda chubby basketball player that speaks his mind and has big muscles, lets call you Round Mound. Why not “Fat Guy” or “Little Debbie Snack Cakes”?) Yes, Charles Barkley is okay with being the man that represents something really girly. betfinal بالعربي  And yes, he looks handsome.  When he was on Saturday Night Live this past weekend, he discussed being very hungry.  Probably because Weight Watchers for men, consists of them only eating these.

3.  Charles will also understand when you say, “my pantyhose are all twisted up, just give me a sec.” Or when you say, “Does my lipstick go well with my eyeshadow?” Or even, “Can I borrow that necklace because it would go so good with my outfit? لعبة بينغو

I think Charles knows what a lady feels. He is not afraid to go the extra mile. Not every guy is willing to put on a nice head of hair and lipstick to show you that he understands you. Charles can and will wear a silk blouse and not even complain about it. He will tuck some of his hair behind his ear because he knows that the face is the money is made. He also understands the importance of lip gloss and tasteful jewelry.

Sir Charles Barkley,

I hope when you read this, you understand that I never once mixed you up with that one band with the little guy with the T-Rex arms as the lead singer. I have bought your book and put it on my bookshelf, like any good American should. I know that your best years were with the Phoenix Suns and that you always hated Michael Jordan just a little bit. I know that you have struggled with your weight and now you are being so brave to try weight watchers as a man. Please come out of retirement and play a little baseball. We (and by we, I mean me) miss you.

Love always and forever,

Erin.

Ladies, I know you are all fighting back feelings now. Who wouldn’t want to date an ex-NBA superstar who is sensitive and caring and on weight watchers?

But, I have first dibs. You hear me? First. Dibs.

So back off, slores!

• • •

This post is a part of our bi-weekly The Ladies Room posts for Korked Bats.

Follow The Ladies Room on Twitter: @KBLadiesRoom – Or follow Erin, TLR writer: @erinmcgown

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