The 20 Best Dad Bods In Sports

2015 is the year of the Dad Bod.

[dropcap] W [/dropcap] hat’s the dad bod? It’s a body that shows you workout… sometimes, but lounge around doing nothing the rest of the time. It’s not fat, but it’s definitely not skinny. It’s like the Cincinnati Bengals of bodies.


Kind of good, but mostly not. It’s basically a body that says, “I workout sometimes, but eat pizza the rest of the time,” or “I do my best to stay in shape, with that shape being a rectangle with rounded edges,” or even “Don’t make me turn this car around.” “Do you want to be grounded?” “Money doesn’t grow on trees.” “Don’t tell your mother.” “Do what your mother says.” “You’re not going out dressed like that.” “Nobody said life is supposed to be fair.” “Has anyone seen my plaid cargo shorts?!” and other things dads say!

With that said, there are a lot of dad bods in the world of sports. So we took it upon ourselves to sift through thousands of Google images of chubby athletess with their shirts off to provide you the definitive ranking of the 20 Best Dad Bods In Sports. Enjoy… but not too much, because it’s kind of gross.

You can click on the images below for a closer look, but you shouldn’t.

Andy Roddick - DadBod

20. Andy Roddick

He’s not fat. It just looks like his skin is a wetsuit that’s three sizes too large. Flabby skin with no definition = total dad bod.


Marshawn Lynch - DadBod

19. Marshawn Lynch

Marshawn Lynch is just here so he won’t get fat. He’s just about that dad bod, boss.


Brian Scalabrine - DadBod

18. Brian Scalabrine

Who would’ve guessed Brian Scalabrine had a dad bod under his jersey? Answer: Everybody. Everybody would’ve guessed that.


Charles Barkley - DadBod

17. Charles Barkley

Old school Charles Barkley had the ultimate dad bod. Today’s Charles Barkley has the ultimate mom bod. (Read: he now has saggy boobs.)


Andrew Bynum - DadBod

16. Andrew Bynum

His shoulders are somewhat defined, which clearly says, “I workout three days a week.” However, the rest of his body is not defines, which says, “I eat junk food four days a week.”


Hulk Hogan - DadBod

15. Hulk Hogan

More like Dad Bod Hogan, amirite? Sorry, that was a dad joke.


Tom Brady - DadBod

14. Tom Brady

For Tom Brady and his diet, everyday is a cheat day.


Boris Diaw - DadBod

13. Boris Diaw

Those aren’t necessarily washboard abs as much as they are Tempur-Pedic pillow abs.


Nick Punto - DadBod

12. Nick Punto

Nick Punto already has the dad bod of names, so it only makes sense that he has an actual dad bod too. Thank you to the St. Louis Cardinals for ripping off his jersey to prove his dad bod status to us.


Aaron Rodgers - DadBod

11. Aaron Rodgers

Compared to most men from Green Bay, Wisconsin, Aaron Rodgers is considered to have the body of a Greek God.


Peyton Manning - DadBod

10. Peyton Manning

Nevermind the fact that Peyton Manning has the Curtis Painter of bodies… Wearing your shirt in the pool when your over the age of 14 and/or not enrolled in fat camp is automatic grounds for dad bod status, regardless of what your body looks like.


Jameis Winston - DadBod

9. Jameis Winston

For a guy who won the National Championship in the Rose Bowl, he has the body of the Belk Bowl.


Joe Montana - DadBod

8. Joe Montana

This actually seems like the body-type a Sketchers Shape-Ups endorser would have.


Matthew Stafford - DadBod

7. Matthew Stafford

Probably the only ranking in the history of the world where Matthew Stafford would rank higher than Joe Montana.


Magic Johnson - DadBod

6. Magic Johnson

Regardless of what Magic Johnson’s body looks like, this photo of him laughing at something Tom Arnold is saying proves he is a dad bod at heart.


Jamarcus Russell - DadBod

5. JaMarcus Russell

Look at those man boobs. JaMarcus Russell is a bust with a bust.


Hyun Jin Ryu - DadBod

4. Hyun Jin Ryu

Nevermind the fact that he looks like the little kid from UP, Hyun Jin Ryu and his tan-lines provide for the perfect dad bod. Fun Fact: Google Translator told me that “Hyun Jin Ryu” is Korean for The Squishy Dodger.


Pete Rose - DadBod

3. Pete Rose

Keep in mind, this picture was taken during the prime of Pete Rose’s career, when his body was in peak physical condition. Also, his hairiness obviously helped in his dad bod ranking.


Steve Spurrier - DadBod

2. Steve Spurrier

This former Heisman Trophy winner would be a finalist for the Dad Bod Heisman Trophy, which would rightfully be called the Hellmann’s Trophy.


Eli Manning - DadBod

1. Eli Manning

And the best dad bod in sports goes to Eli Manning. If Eli Manning’s body was a football play, it would be a 6-yard hitch route on 3rd and 9. His body simultaneously says both, “I’ve been married for years,” and “I’m the quarterback for the New York Giants.” So basically, it says, “I’ve given up.”


Leave a comment below with any that you think we missed.


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter (which he apparently thought was important enough to share here). He also wears pants everyday.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.