A Recap of The Bachelor From A Guy – Women Tell All
The Women Tell All
Notice how this episode is called The Women Tell All and not The All Women Tell because noticeably absent from the show was Natasha and Kelley. Why, you ask? Natasha said on Twitter that she unfortunately could not make it while Kelley just flat out didn’t get invite. Maybe it’s because they did their best editing job on her during her final episode trying to paint her out like a mean person, and they didn’t want to be exploited for that? Because if she showed up and was asked why she said such mean things, I think she would exploit ABC for manipulating the things she said to make her look like a villain.
That’s my take, at least. Look, you’re not going to invite a self-aware robot to the robot convention, because it would do nothing but speak truths and ruin the entire facade. With that said, the only woman I wanted at the Tell All was Kelley. I wanted to hear her intelligent, deep-rooted, and self-aware thoughts. It’s a shame.
However, ABC was sure to give an invite to Katrina, the pro sports dancer from Chicago, Illinois, who I’m pretty sure was just casted for this episode, because I’ve never seen her before in my life. And I doubt Peter has either.
As for the Women Tell All, Chris Harrison did his thing where he poses a question to one of the girls while keeping his distance of 30 yards so he doesn’t get hit when girls start throwing things. I mean, we all remember what happened to Geraldo.
The first girl to be put on the spot and attacked was Alayah. The girls accused her of spreading spoilers in her return to the house, with Sydney mentioning that she hopped on Bachelor Reddit, which I’m sure was a big night for them. Congrats, Bachelor Reddit! Alayah defended herself by saying, “I get word vomit.” Apparently, someone’s seen Mean Girls. She also mentioned that she has done the ten-octave higher voice her whole life, “My mom calls it my princess voice.” Where’s a trash can? I need to actually vomit. Then Sydney accuses Victoria P. of being the fakest girl in the house, which was pretty rich for a girl who claimed she was unpopular but then instantly ratted out online for winning Prom Queen, senior superlatives, etc.
And it was at that moment all hell broke loose.
Hold up. Did I just post that Geraldo clip twice?!
In all honesty, and for as funny as that clip is, it made for some pretty bad television. It was a madhouse, and made me glad the next round of The Bachelorette will be people in their upper-30’s, legitimately looking for love rather than Insta-followers.
Chris Harrison had no choice but to send the whole thing to commercial break. Which was good, because we all had to pour ourselves a single glass of wine, and then just drink what was left in the bottle. And speaking of bottles, when the show returned, Chris Harrison brought up #champagnegate.
Kelsey admits she overreacted – uhhh, ya think? – and apologized, but didn’t apologize for her emotions. Then Chris brings Tammy into the discussion which is like bringing a flame thrower to a gas station. Tammy tries to defend herself for being one of the worst this season. And to think I at one point in these recaps actually liked her. I feel like *I* should apologize for that. Bachelor Nation, I’m sorry. Of course, with Tammy speaking brought up instant PTSD for Mykenna, who decided to voice her opinion – the same voice in which she found in thanks to Tammy.
Let’s just say, this did not go well for anyone. Mykenna started to tell Tammy that she forgave her and was looking to move on because “you taught me, like, on how I don’t want to treat people” blah blah blah. To which Tammy interrupted her with a pretty nasty line – but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t thinking it at the exact same thing.
If Tammy came into do some damage control, she did a good job of at least the damage part, because she came out of The Women Tell All looking worse than she did coming in, which is pretty crazy to think about.
Tammy attacked Mykenna and said every time the camera would enter the room she would spread her legs. Which I know I’m one of the few Mykenna defenders out there, but I can’t seem to remember a shot of spread eagle Mykenna. That accusation, of course, only got the friendly Canadian fashion blogger fired up.
Needless to say, I don’t think TamTam and Mykenna are going to be seen brunching, shopping, or boomeranging in each other’s Instagram stories anytime soon.
After things settled (read: they didn’t), Chris invited Kelsey into the hot seat…
Click the right arrow to read about Kelsey in the hot seat…
