A Recap of The Bachelor From A Guy – Season Finale Part 2
Hannah Ann In The Hot Seat
…or should I say Peter in the hot seat?
At the LIVE After The Final Rose, Hannah Ann sat down with Peter and let me tell you what, the CLAWS CAME OUT! And again, I do NOT mean the White Claws.
Hannah Ann strutted out like a WWE wrestler, ready to pile drive Peter into the mat, wearing a red dress that was tighter than Peter’s family. And the only thing more fierce than her dress was her remarks towards Peter: “You told me things that kept me with you. Even after our breakup, you reached out to my parents saying that you were just processing your emotions and you wish more than anything we had met outside of reality TV. How does that make any sense?”
In the words of Owen Wilson, “Wow.”
Then as if torching Peter wasn’t enough, she whipped out a vat of gasoline to pour on top of him.
She spilled the tea that Peter called Hannah Brown “for closure” during their engagement. Are you kidding me right now? I can’t even look at old yearbook pictures of girls I kissed in high school without getting a side-eye from my wife, and here Peter is calling up girls he boinked in windmills (4-times!) just to talk?! Is there a human dumber than the man picked to be this season’s Bachelor? Because I dare you to find one.
Hannah Ann also negged Pete for downplaying and not even addressing how close of a relationship he had with Madison. In a way, this was a lot like Jed. It took for Hannah Ann to watch back this season before she realized just how connected he was to her. No different than Hannah B. finding out that Dierks Pedigree had a relationship right before going on the show. She made a great point that he didn’t have to drag her emotions out to the final rose ceremony when Madison left two days prior. She’s right.
With all that said, when Hannah Ann is old enough to legally rent a car, she’s going to make one hell of a Bachelorette.
Chris Harrison Visits Madison
Then Chris Harrison flies to Auburn, Alabama… or so I thought, because ABC flashed a photo of what looked like downtown Birmingham on the screen. Um, Auburn doesn’t have high rises or skyscrapers, ABC.
ABC’s like, “Welcome to beautiful downtown Auburn!”
Chris sits down with Madison, as she probably assumed he was there to ask her to be the next Bachelorette. Unfortunately, he was just there to to play cupid. He told Madison that Peter was still in love with her (now that Hannah Ann is gone), which had to be the biggest buzzkill for Madison since last year’s Final Four.
Chris asked Madison if she’d like to give her relationship with Peter a second shot, or as I read it, an all-expenses paid trip to Los Angeles… why not?
So Madison flew back to L.A. to surprise Peter who was standing by a pool – which is ironically what he was doing when Kelsey surprised him in Costa Rica. This dude loves to just stare at pools. As we would later find out, he was expecting to meet with Chris Harrison and was surprised when Madi walked up. They had one of their classic Siamese Twin Conjoined Head conversations and decided to give this thing a go… again… sigh.
Keep in mind, in the time since Peter and Madison’s real one-on-one date, Peter has:
- slept with two women
- proposed to one
- talked about sex with his younger brother
- ended an engagement
And yet, Madison was still willing to get back together with him?
Oh, and I should note that the entire time on BARB CAM in the lower left hand part of your screen, Barb was not even pretending to be happy for her son. She flat-out despised Madison.
My mom texted me saying, “Boy if looks could kill that poor girl would be dead!” You’re right, mom.
Click the right arrow for The Final 30 Minutes…
Pingback: Who Is The 'Draymond Green' of Every Boy Band? - Korked Bats