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Ranking All 32 NFL Draft War Rooms

20. Frank Reich (Colts)

If I was judging suburban basements, Frank would be ranked pretty well. But I’m judging by overall set ups, and if I have a better setup for writing this blog than he does for drafting the future of his NFL franchise, then you’re not going to be ranked very high.

Bonus points for turning off all the lights before he went to bed though.

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19. Ron Rivera (Redskins)

That one screen seems way too big, way too unnecessary, uses way too much power, and is really kind of overshadowing the rest of the entire operation. That screen is Dan Snyder.

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18. Les Snead (Rams)

I’m a little disappointed with the Rams’ war room, if I’m being real. with the new stadium, new logo, and soon to be new uniforms, I thought they’d roll out something sleek and fancy. But really all they have is a U-Haul with french doors. They’re clearly set up in one of the back hallways of Les Snead’s house or even in the pool house because Mrs. Snead didn’t want him taking up space in the actual house.

Oh, and what was with this look from Snead? This is the most L.A. thing possible. He only moved there a few years ago, and he’s already rocking wide-brim glasses and probably lecturing others on why they need to get an electric car and only buy fair trade coffee.

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17. Joe Douglas (Jets)

This is just a home office. Which I guess is practical, but not any fun for the rest of us.

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16. Brian Flores & Chris Grier (Dolphins)

This feels similar to the Packers situation, where we can’t get a good look at either setup here. Almost as if they put up a smokescreen like they did with drafting Tua at #5. I will say this, however, their offices look really nice.

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15. John Elway (Broncos)

While this looks like the setup for the silent auctions at most trivia night fundraisers, I assure, the problem with this setup is with the photographer who took this picture. For starters, why would you go behind the screen to take this picture with the TV blocking half of the room? Also, John Elway set up the Broncos’ three Lombardi Trophies in this room, which are noticibly absent from this photo. DON’T BURY THE LEDE! Sure, this room looks like your nana’s knitting room, but nana doesn’t have three shiny footballs on sticks to show off like Elway does.

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14. Rick Spielman (Vikings)

Much like the Vikings each season, this one looks good upon first look, but the deeper we get into it, the more it just doesn’t match up. Let’s look at the pros: the six monitor combined screen is nice. Reminds me of the TV set up Mr. Macintosh had in the movie Blank Check. Super rad. And that about does it for the pros.

Let’s look at the cons: first, the functionality. There’s a lot of chair rotation to check in on every screen. That’s not efficient, in my opinion. Plus, not a huge face of the Vikings tablecloths over the foldable card tables. Looks like a Vikings charity golf tournament. Let’s class the place up a bit. And finally, the printer? Really? And not just the fact that they have a printer, but they have a printer the size of Fiat. Can we not get a cooler, smaller, more space efficient printer? At very least maybe just put it under one of the tables? It’s a bit of an eyesore.

I do have to give major props to Zimmer Ridge Ranch, though.

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13. Matt Rhule (Panthers)

This is the kind of war room we refer to as a one-hundred yarder. It’s good from far, but far from good. Because as you take a closer look, it’s kind of a lame setup.

Mostly tablets and a laptop, only one monitor, and a lot of wires. But hey, at least you got a pretty sick mousepad.

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12. Eric DeCosta (Ravens)

Let’s just say Eric DeCosta won’t be winning any Oscars for best cinematography any time soon. I mean damn dude, what’s with the head space? And does he know which way the cameras pointing as he gave that tour? Olive Stone thinks your camerawork is shaky. Ravens probably would’ve been higher, had someone else filmed this episode of MTV Cribs.

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11. Sean Payton (Saints)

This set up is nice. Nothing special, but I’ll be honest about why it’s as high as it is. Because of the bonus points Sean Payton earned.

First off, way to be a narc, Derrick. Second, there’s no doubt in my mind that Sean Payton received the memo from the NFL and went out and got all of the direct competitor brands of the NFL just as giant F.U. I wouldn’t be shocked if that pack of Twizzlers were even opened.

Click the right arrow to see picks 1-10…

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.

Austin

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