Sunday, April 21, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

We’ve Completely 180’d On Jake Paul After He Dropped This Dana White Diss Track

What’s the old saying? An enemy of my enemy is my friend? There’s no truer sentiment that we’re feeling at Korked Bats right now than this.

Personally, I used to feel like Jake Paul was a talentless hack who got popular off the success of his talentless hack brother, a guy who is a jack of all trades and a master of literally none of them, and a guy who had to resort to boxing because that was the only thing barbaric enough for that imbecile to do well because it’s the only thing he could do while getting away with constantly drooling and looking concussed in public.

Which, don’t get me wrong, I still feel that way about him. But now, I feel that way about him but am also all in on his new Dana White diss track.

If Korked Bats was a country, this would be our national anthem.

Is it petty? You betcha! Does it flow? Not well. But do we love the lyrics? Of course. I used to think Eminem was the most lyrically gifted rapper of our generation, but there may be a new challenger. Plus, I have to resepct his artistic decision in the video to take that toilet plunger to that fake Dana White’s bald head.

Dana White sucks. And that’s merely coming from the stance that he had our Instagram account taken down. But when you add all of his mistreatment of fighters to the list, it only makes him more of a douchebag. If anyone is rooting for that fat Mr. Clean to get canceled, ousted or even just arrested for tax evasion or something, it’s us. So if Jake Paul is the man with the platform that’s going to try and expose him, we’ll be sitting front row chowing down popcorn like that Bill Hader GIF. Jake may have the musical talent of Rebecca Black and the I.Q. of a broken stapler, but we’re all in with him in this movement to oust the biggest doucher in sports.


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.