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Thursday, April 25, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

UPDATE: Kim Mulkey’s Jacket Is En Route To Chicago, Will Be Worn At An Upcoming Cubs Game

Imagine the “OH MY GOD IT’S HAPPENING!” GIF from The Office, but in real life. Because that’s what’s going on in my brain right now.

I don’t know if you’ve been following this incredibly dumb saga or not, but if not, feel free to catch yourself up here:

Or here:

Or even here:

But for those who are caught up to speed. The jacket, Kim Mulkey’s jacket that looks like if Animal from The Muppets worked at Bath & Body Works, is en route to me in Chicago as you read this. I’m sure you’re wondering where I found one. Allow me to correct you real quick. Not just one, but THE one. As in the only one of these jackets that exist. The one Kim Mulkey wore in the women’s Elite Eight. The one photographed in my tweet above. According to the jacket’s designer, Martha Gottwald – who is so damn cool, by the way – this jacket was originally for a couture runway show and is the only one in existence.

Initially, Martha wanted me to do something epic in it like, in her words, “a keg stand or something.” But apparently, the jacket is needed after I’m done (more on that below), so I gotta take care of it and keep it in pristine condition. I mean, it is retailed at over $4,000 by the way. Side note: I should’ve gotten into fashion design instead of sports blogging and radio.

Here are a few of the most common questions I’ve gotten so far:

When is it arriving?

This Saturday before 7 p.m. according to the tracking number I have for UPS. Yes, I’ll be upset if Martha (we’re on a first-name basis now – I don’t know if she knows that) is just mailing be a giant box of dog poo as a goof. I’ll admit it’s a well-played goof, but I will be pissed.

Will it even fit?

That we don’t know. I did some at-home measurements before we shipped it out and it’s going to be close, but Martha said it should be good. So fingers crossed there.

Have you picked a game to attend?

Short answer: yes. The Cubs kick off a quick California road trip on Friday and aren’t back to the Confines until next Friday, so we have to wait a week, but as of right now (barring rain), we’re looking at Saturday, April 22nd against the Dodgers, which should be nice, because, with out-of-town Dodgers fans in attendance, I probably won’t be the most flamboyantly dressed person in Wrigley. FOLKS!

Where are you sitting?

I was hoping to score some behind-home plate seats just so that jacket could be in the line of sight for TV cameras, but have had no luck so far. So as of right now, I’ve got some seats in the bleachers, which I think is the next best place to sit at Wrigley. Especially in high-end designer fashion.

Anything else planned?

I still have a few things I’m working on to make the day pretty cool. We’ll obviously be updating you as we learn more. But for right now, this is everything. If you have any ideas or wanna help in any way, please reach out.

But one thing is for sure, I’m definitely getting a Beer Bat.

Is that $4,000 jacket just yours now?

You kidding? I wish. Unfortunately, no. While it would look good with the rest of my wardrobe, I do have to send it back the next day. There are murmurs that this jacket could be displayed in a hall of fame, so Martha asked that I take good care of it and ship it back in one piece. So I will protect this jacket with my life.

So hey Chicago, whaddaya say?! If you’re going to be at Cubs-Dodgers next Saturday, please find me. I’ll be the guy in the pink ostrich feather-trimmed floral jacket.

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.

Austin