Thursday, April 25, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

2022 Took Another Legend, RIP In Peace To The Choco Taco

I’m sure plenty of you will be heartbroken by this news; Choco Tacos are a top-tier ice cream selection for some people, and have been since their inception in the 1980s. I was certainly known to chow down on them when I was a kid. So it brings me no joy to be the bearer of bad news. Social media rumors don’t always prove to be true, but in the case of the Choco Taco, this one is sadly based in fact. RIP, Choco Taco, 1984-2022.

via The Takeout

Today is a tough day. Arguably the toughest Taco Tuesday of all time. Because today your tacos will be sprinkled with not only beef, lettuce and cheese, but also tears.

Am I to blame for this tasty treat’s demise? Maybe. Not to the level you try to pin on me for Bob Saget’s death, but I will admit, there were many times I passed on a Choco Taco for a strawberry shortcake bar, maybe a Drumstick, or quite possibly a frozen Snickers – not often for the Snickers bar though, because let’s be real, I’m not not made of money – but there were many times where I thought about getting a Choco Taco! And it’s the thought that counts, right? Unfortunately, not in capitalism.

But today isn’t a day for pointing fingers. That’s left for literally every other day on the Internet. Today is all about remembering what was lost. In the power rankings of Hispanic desserts, it goes #3. the mints you get at the cash register, #2. flan, and in the top overall spot, #1. The Choco Taco. And sure, ice cream sandwiches walked so Choco Tacos could run, but that’s also like saying Bob Cousy paved the way for Michael Jordan. They’re two different athletes with one being far superior in every single way. The Choco Taco stands alone. Or I guess I should say stood alone.

I remember when Taco Bell used to house the Choco Taco as its only desert alternative to the way-to-stale cinni-twists. This was back in the days of the quintessential 90s, back when Taco Bell interior was designed like a Lisa Frank wet dream. But now, like the old Saved By The Bell opening credits design of the old Taco Bell’s, the Choco Taco is nothing more than a fragment of our imagination. Gone to live with Toys R Us, pogs, Circuit City, and Tamagotchi’s in the great nostalgia in the sky. RIP in peace, ol’ friend. Buenos noches.

I will now open up the floor for eulogies of our favorite taco dessert.


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.