Saturday, June 22, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

You Want A Hot Take? Tom Brady Isn’t “Reversing The Aging Process” He’s Just On A Super Team

You might want to sit down for this, but Tom Brady won a football game last night.

Is it a surprise? Not at all. This guy has done nothing but win for the last two decades plus. But what makes this one and every win after this is the fact that Tom Brady is 44 years old. Did you know that? He’s 44. I know he looks younger now than when he was drafted, but he’s 44. He’s 44. The man is 44. As if he’s the first person to ever turn 44, no one can stop talking about how he’s 44. Nevermind the fact that it took a comeback in the closing minute to eek out a win against the Cowboys, a team Vegas had them 8.5-point favorites over. But the man is 44.

So naturally, today, as you might expect (and honestly, should expect after every win this season), the media is raving about Tom Brady. And his ability to still get it done at 44. And sure, it should be commended that Brady can put on shoulder pads without breaking a hip at his age, but let’s not act like he’s reversing the aging process. So chill out, Bezos. He hasn’t found what you’re looking for.

But I feel like most people are missing a huge glaring detail in this entire Tom Brady saga. And no it’s not his age. (He’s 44, btw.) Tom Brady is less Ben Button, and more Bron. He hasn’t gotten better. He just joined a super team late in his sports life.

Why is it we all agree that football is a team sport except for when it comes to our takes on Tom Brady? When other teams win it’s because of the entire team because you know, football. But when Brady wins, it’s because of Brady. And solely Brady. People like to say Brady is the clear winner in the Brady vs. Belichick debate because when Brady bounced, the Patriots sucked and Brady nearly threw his 7th Lombardi into the ocean. Nevermind the fact that Bill Belichick was the mastermind behind the entire defensive side of the ball during those Super Bowl-winning teams in New England. And correct me if I’m wrong, but the Patriots were never heralded for having a dynamic offense outside of that 2007 team – when yet again, Brady was surrounded by a Pro Bowl roster on offense. And plus, in that Brady-Belichick debate, people tend to forget that the Patriots had a record number of 8 players opt out last season due to covid. While Brady did nothing but add players to his roster (more on that in a sec). Hmm, maybe that had something to do with the Patriots sucking and the Bucs flourishing last season? But what do I know? I’m just a doofus with a blog.

Why is it we don’t clown Brady for doing literally the exact same thing we clown LeBron and K.D. for? He legitimately joined a super team. And isn’t football more of a team sport than basketball? Hmmm.

The Bucs before Brady were a win away from the playoffs. They had the THIRD best offense in the sport with THE BEST passing offense in the sport. That’s not a lie, either, even though it definitely sounds like one considering they had Jameis Winston throwing 30 footballs to the other team, eight of which went of touchdowns to the other teams (a fun NFL record)! I mean, Jameis Winston was able to produce the best passing offense in the entire league. You put any other quarterback (or even the same quarterback, just post LASIK), then of course that squad is going to be insane. And on top of that, they also went out and added Gronk (future Hall of Famer), Antonio Brown (former best wide receiver in the sport before he got frostbitten feet), and Leonard Fournette (a beast back who had been mistreated, neglected, and abused in Jacksonville). Not to mention their defense remained stacked after they re-signed Ndamukong Suh, Kevin Minter, Andrew Adams, Shaq Barrett (tagged), Jason Pierre-Paul, and all eight of JPP’s fingers.

I’m not saying Brady doesn’t deserve any respect. I’m not saying we shouldn’t be surprised by what he’s doing at his age. He’s 44. I’m just saying, it’s a lot easier to have success in your AARP days when you’re surrounded by insane talent. Just ask fellow Michigan man Juwan Howard. Dude didn’t win a ring until his final two seasons when LeBron and Bosh joined the team. Brady doesn’t have to be great. Just dump it off to his Monstars teammates and let them be great.

All I’m saying is we should be consistent. Kevin Durant can’t be a “ring chaser” without Brady being one too. Brady isn’t reversing the aging process, he’s just on a much better team.

Also, did you know he’s 44?


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.


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