Saturday, May 25, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

You People Are Monsters.

The morning after the NBA Draft, I tweeted the above. Sound familiar?

It’s because I’ve already done this shtick before. Which is why I did it again. Because I thought most of you would be in on the joke. Someone wears a ridiculous jacket that goes viral, and I tweet “the thing” to reminisce about how funny it was last time. Ha ha! Right? Well, never underestimate the internet, because apparently some of you monsters actually want to see this be run back.

Guys, I was just making a joke, an homage to last time. I was not actually looking to go through all the logistics as I did last time to find the jacket and wear it to a game. I mean, if I was actually looking to run it back, I’d jack up the number of likes by a bunch, because last time, I got over 3x as many likes. I wouldn’t AGAIN set it at 5,000. But roughly 1.3 thousand of you monsters don’t care. You don’t care that the sequel is NEVER as good as the original. You just want more. You people are exactly why there are so many Fast & Furious movies. You don’t care that it’s no longer abour street racing. You just want fast cars and explosions. And here, you only want dumb sports blogger in a funny jacket in a very public place. Would I go through with it if 5k likes were met on this tweet? *sigh* Yes. But it’s definitely not happening this time. The original phase of likes has died down. But not without out some of you monsters really trying.

Look, respect to those who tried. But let’s leave the Kim Mulkey jacket RIP in peace.

(Mainly because I have no idea how I’d get Gradey Dick’s ruby red slipper jacket. And because it will be so much hotter at a Cubs game this much deeper into the summer.)


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.