You Might Want To Sit Down For This: Lovie Smith Shaved His Beard
If there were two things getting me through these times of quarantine it was 1. the fact that if we hunker down now, we should still be able to get college football in the fall, and 2. Lovie Smith’s beard… and not necessarily in that order.
But since this is 2020, I come bearing nothing but more bad news.
Yes. Lovie shaved his beard.
To me, this is worse than finding out Santa Claus isn’t real. This is like finding out Santa Claus shaved his beard. Because Lovie Smith was Santa with that beard. But now? Now he just looks like the guy who lost Super Bowl XLI.
Look, Illini fans, I wish I could tell you this isn’t a modern day tale of Samson, but you and I both know that as Lovie Smith’s beard grew stronger, so did the entire program. It wasn’t coincidence. It was cause and effect. The strength of this program was in those white sometimes crumb-filled facial hairs.
Sure Lovie is 15-34 in his time at Illinois, but that beard was 10-15, with upsets over Michigan State and #6 Wisconsin, not to mention a Redbox Bowl berth to its name. Over the last two seasons, that beard became Lovie’s trademark. That beard was feared. Just ask Michigan State. But now it’s gone. This would be like Carrot Top going blonde. It’s not right.
It’s a sad day, I know. Hell, they might as well just cancel the entire college football season. That’s how low I feel right now. Let’s take this time to mourn. Press play on this video as you scroll and let’s remember the greatest beard college football has ever known.
Also, maybe grab a tissue.
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Dude was out here coaching an FBS football program while looking like Papa Smurf.
I-L-L… I’m gonna cry.
Grizzly Adams, Rip Van Winkle, Retired Dave Letterman, Kimbo Slice, and Lovie Smith. Some of the greatest beards history has ever known. Tonight, as you DO BEERS, pour a little out for this lion’s glorious and now gone (but not forgotten) mane. Try not to be sad that it’s gone, but rather, smile because it happened.
R.I.P. in peace Lovie’s beard, summer of 2018-2020
