What Every Team Got Derek Jeter As A Retirement Gift
Not sure if you heard, but this previous MLB season was longtime New York Yankees Captain Derek Jeter’s last. To honor him, many teams gave him a retirement gift. We’ve obtained a list of what every Major League team gave him.
Astros: Pinstriped #2 Cowboy boots.
Rangers: Pinstriped #2 Cowboy boot.s
Marlins: Pinstriped #2 flip flops.
Cubs: A cookie cake and one of those Chicago Cubs Win flags, since they never seem to use it.
Orioles: A picture of Jeffrey Maier autographed by former Orioles outfielder Tony Tarasco, with a note, “Finally, got you back for this. Enjoy the postseason from the couch. With Love, Tony T. and every Oriole since 1997.”
Rays: Rays tickets (that he probably won’t use, like everyone else who has Rays tickets.)
Padres: Pinstriped #2 camo jersey.
Blue Jays: Some scented candles, maple syrup, a signed copy of R.A. Dickey’s book “Wherever I Wind Up,” and a baseball drawing that Colby Rasmus worked really hard on…
Athletics: A giftbasket, for screwing them in the 2001 playoffs.
Brewers: Pinstriped #2 neck tie (clip-on, so he doesn’t choke too).
Tigers: After going just 4-4 with a 3.59 ERA since joining the team, they just re-gifted David Price.
Indians: Major League 2 on DVD, with gift receipt.
Angels: Angels in the Outfield on DVD, with gift receipt.
White Sox: Season 2 of Chicago Fire on DVD, without gift receipt.
Diamondbacks: Their available manager job.
Mets: An opportunity to make money quick, by recruiting 2 or 3 others to make money quick.
Reds: A free dinner with baseball legend Pete Rose (mainly, so to give the organization a break from him hanging around the ballpark all the time).
Nationals: Pinstriped #2 Ed Hardy t-shirt (Bryce Harper picked this gift out).
Rockies: A pamphlet that offers a chance to sponsor a third-world child and/or Rockies players.
Phillies: Now that Jeter is 40, they’re willing to give him a roster spot.
Pirates: A $25 giftcard to Applebee’s.
Mariners: Robinson Cano.
Giants: A Metallica concert (yes, they gave the same thing to Mariano Rivera last year, but they had a buy one get one free Groupon).
Twins: Some actual twins…
Royals: Half-eaten barbecue (Billy Butler got into the fridge without asking).
Cardinals: An autographed picture of their fans.
Braves: Completely forgot to get him anything.
Dodgers: A 3-year, $125 million contract.
Red Sox: A used Boston Red Sox 2007 World Series Champions iPhone 3G case, with a note that reads, “SUCK IT, JETER!”
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This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff
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