By now you’ve heard Tennessee Titans President and CEO Steve Underwood has decided to call it a career after 40 years of working in the NFL. The long time Titans employee is stepping down from his official role, but will stay on as a special advisor to team owner Amy Adams Strunk.

Much can be discussed of Mr. Underwood’s career accomplishments, but that’s not what I’m writing about. I’m here to enshrine him in the Professional Sports Facial Hair Hall of Fame and highlight some other notable Hall of Fame Inductees.

Mr. Underwood’s glorious face lettuce is remarkable in that it virtually completely obscures his mouth. Is he speaking? Is he using some futuristic voice software that would impress the late Steven Hawking? We may never know unless he decides to do the unthinkable and shave that glorious bastard off his face.

If he could grow some thin, well-manicured lines on his cheeks, I’m sure his goatee could pass for an N95 face mask. I’ve read some articles comparing his facial follicles to Dr. Seuss’ character, The Lorax. Personally, I don’t see it. To me it resembles the ABC Warrior robot from the regrettable 1995 film, Judge Dredd (not to be confused with the 2012 masterpiece, Dredd).

A solid mandible of glistening white, capable of crushing any player’s contract he determined had outlived its value. Mr. Underwood, the league won’t be the same without you and your masterful goatee.

Other notable Facial Hair Hall of Fame inductees include…

Lanny McDonald

The former NHL winger played for the Toronto Maple Leafs, Colorado Rockies (now the Devils) and the Calgary Flames over his 16-year career. With a mustache that is rivaled only by Yosemite Sam, Lanny scored 500 goals on the ice and likely countless times off the ice with that lip broom. Legend has it that his mustache rides were a full-day excursion.

Brett Keisel

The former Pittsburgh Steelers Defensive End played 12 seasons, all with the black and gold. The man could grow a beard that would make the mighty Zeus himself fall to his knees and whimper like a sniveling infant.

Brent Burns

The NHL defenseman from the San Jose Sharks facial hair and distinct lack of teeth makes a statement. What that statement is however, remains to be determined. However, I have narrowed it down to two possibilities.

“Help, I’ve been held by the Taliban for the last six years” Or “I’m ready for my post-NHL career as a yoga instructor/marijuana cultivator.”

Brian Wilson

The former MLB pitcher had a remarkably well quaffed and thick beard. It almost looks too good to believe. It looks almost like Amy Winehouse left her signature beehive hairdo to Brian on the condition that he only uses it as a beard or for formal occasions.

Stone Cold Steve Austin

I won’t lie, it’s a quality goatee. Many beers have been drunk and asses whooped by this man. His inclusion on this list is mostly so he doesn’t find me and whoop my ass for failing to include him.

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The Professional Sports Facial Hair Hall of Fame is filled with many men who all share one common gift, the ability to grow enviable facial hair and make guys like myself look like an 11-year-old kid still waiting for his first whiskers. Perhaps we will revisit other notable HoF members in the future. For now, congratulations to our newest inductee, Mr. Steve Underwood.

This post was written by Rich in the Lou. Follow him: @636Rich