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Friday, April 26, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Wake Forest’s Video Introducing Their Head Coach Is The Most Dramatic And Exhilarating Film Ever

Did I just do drugs?

Because that’s the only way I can even remotely begin to explain what I just watched. I honestly couldn’t tell you if I love or hate this video. It was dramatic, it was exhilarating, it was

Can I hold this video against the Demon Deacons? No. I’m going to chalk this up as most of the creatives behind this video are either working from home or furloughed. These are some weird times. Well-produced videos are at a premium.

We start off with a Hoosiers type feel. A man standing in a gym looking up into the rafters in awe of all the program has accomplished.

With a closer look, you’ll… wait, dammit… is he wearing a mask?

Really? He has to be CDC compliant for a :48 second video where everyone is already social distanced? Should be Woke Forest.

40 years from now (or 3 when Forbes is probably fired), we’re going to look back on this video and be like why the hell did they wear masks? Sure, we’re in the middle of a global pandemic, I get that, but they could’ve shot the video without the masks. It’s not like they shot this inside a crowded grocery store. They were the only two people inside a massive gym. Pretty sure there kept their 6-feet of space. I mean, that A.D. dude had to softball pitch him his whistle.

Then this boss man walks in to say he’s got approval to make this hire. Which is nice, I guess. In a time where many are losing their jobs, it’s gratifying to know at least someone is being hired. However, he did have to ask him two questions first… Side note: is this Forbes’ first interview? And if it’s not, why weren’t these questions raised in previous interviews. They seem like important questions for a potential head coach hire. Probably good that he didn’t ask him the “where do you see yourself in 5 years?” question, because the answer probably would’ve been, “looking for a new job.”

The questions asked were, “Are our players going to graduate?” and “Are we going to put some more of those up?” Which then led to the saddest part in the entire video.

That’s it. The extent of Wake Forest’s basketball glory. The four conference champion banners hanging in the back corner of the gym. Some 30-odd years apart.

Look, I get it. Wake Forest isn’t just in a conference with Duke and UNC, they share a state. Which means Wake isn’t even top recruits’ safety school. Any top player from the state probably has UNC as their safety school, in the sense that if they can’t play basketball at Duke or UNC, they’ll just take Mack Brown’s offer to play safety.

“That’s what we came here to do,” coach says. Look, coach, it’s a yes or no question. I don’t like how he’s already skating around questions. Not a good sign. But apparently good enough for Wake, as the Boss Man says, “Good answers,” and then tosses him a whistle. You’d think he’d make him fill out a W-2 or some paperwork or something, but apparently the whistle toss is the only thing that makes it official.

Then comes the weirdest (ok, maybe not the weirdest) part of the video…

Boss man doesn’t just burst down the fourth wall. He does so with a finger gun. That paired with the mask makes my man look like your quintessential western bank robber. Then he introduces Steve Forbes as your future ex-head coach of the Demon Deacons, which apparently was Forbes’ cue to completely disregard the CDC guidelines they had been following for the first :38 seconds of the video, as he Gronk spikes his mask.

I’ve actually never related to a head coach more in that moment. Because I too am sick and tired of wearing these things everywhere I go.

“Lets go Deacon Nation! Let’s get this done!”

When he says “Let’s get this done!” is he referring to:

  • this video shoot
  • this global pandemic
  • adding a fifth banner to the back corner of the gym

I think it’s all of the above. That’s the look of a man who is sick and tired (sorry, poor choice of words in these times)… tired of filming this video, tired of this pandemic (just like all of us), and really wants to get the season started so they can finish 10th in the conference.


I think I’ve come to a decision. I think this is the greatest introductory video for a head coach in the history of film. This thing is so good, it feels like it was directed by Bong Joon-Ho. I know the Oscars are like 10 months away, but we’ve got our winner for Best Picture already. And I’m not just saying that because literally every other movie is being delayed until 2021. I’m saying that because this video made me feel emotions I’ve never felt before, and/or it gave me a contact high that’s hits harder than black tar heroin.

I also find it funny that Wake Forest took this intro video more seriously than anyone takes their basketball program.

I just hope they sanitize that gym.

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.

Austin

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