Saturday, April 13, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Tweets for the Future

So, I am really competitive. This is sometimes a problem because I am not the best at every single thing. I am very good at fooseball and basketball and hip hop dancing, but I am not good at tweeting. I forget about twitter and worse, I forget about trying to be funny in my tweets. I like to tell people about the amount of Mexican food I ate over the weekend or about how cray-zayy my day has been, but I am not always funny.

Then Austin Huff, my Korked Bats boss, decided to nominate me for a competition. A comedic tweeting competition between other women. Emphasis in sports. Yikes.

After making many threatening phone calls and enlisting my mother’s Sunday School class, I started to see the numbers increase. Finally, I took second place.  Second place is the first loser as my No Fear shirt said from the 5th grade, so I needed a miracle and a miracle is what I got.

Now, it looks like I could win this competition.

Well, I have come up with my tweets for the upcoming Oregon Ducks vs. LSU El Tigres game on September 3rd.  And I will give you, Korked Bats Nation, a sneak peak at my top eleven tweets for this event that has yet to happen. Since you knew me before I “hit the big times.”

11. @ErinAndrews you are going to wish you had my sense of humor and I am going to wish I had your boyfriend. #trade

10. If you thought it felt good to be a gangster, just wait until you are a Duck. #quack

9. Hopefully Shaquille O’Neal will have a break from his busy schedule of ICY HOT commercials to come watch this opening game.

8. Oh, wow. How many balls do the Tigers have to drop before they are ready for the big leagues? (see what I did there?)

7. Quack Quack Quack Quack #winning #overusedCharlieSheenreference #stillrelevant

6. It looks as though Nevin Shapiro is being skyped in for some LSU half-time advice. #foolmetwice

5. @LSUFootballPepSquad – 2007 called, they just wanted to let you know that they had something to cheer for then.

4. Singing, Song, Song of the South, Sweet Potato Pie and I shut my mouth.

3. If LSU’s defense is anything like last year, their season will be much like my prom night. #nonexistant

2. Ducks eat Tigers for breakfast. #science


1. I wish every single LSU fan looked like this:

This was just a taste of what is to come.  I am ready to test my skills of comedy in under one hundred and forty characters.  Now if only my boss would buy me an iPhone. #winning

• • •

Be sure to vote for @ErinMcGown in @NOTSportsCenter and @DouchyTomBrady‘s #NOTSCsideline competition:


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