Sunday, April 21, 2024

Korked Bats

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This Blog Is About Derrick Henry Which Should Be Reason Enough For You To Click On It

Derrick Lamar Henry Jr.

We shouldn’t be this shocked that he continues to shock us, and yet here we are, still shocked. We’re running out of ways to hype this dude, because this guy isn’t running out of ways to be hyped. I can speak in hyperbolic idioms all day, but the hyperbolic idioms can’t me speak. Ok, that last one didn’t make any sense.

But what else doesn’t make sense is Derrick Henry.

The man isn’t just cementing himself as the best running back in the NFL, he’s slowly building a case to be the best running back in the history of the entire sport. Is that incredibly biased? I don’t know. We’re The #1 Derrick Henry Fan Site On The Internet™ so you tell me. (Yes, it is.)

On Monday Night Football, Derrick Henry squared up against the #1 defense in the entire NFL and the #2 rush defense. He walked away with 143 yards rushing and 3 touchdowns. That gives him 10 touchdowns on the season. The New York Jets have 7 touchdowns on the season. On the

Good take, Jason. Ya know, outside of those geese running into the jet engines on Captain Sully Sullenberger’s plane, it was a pretty smooth flight. How are you going to take away the man’s best run and say “Other than that…”?? The worst part about it all? He doubled down in the comments.

Ya know, if you take away all the movies Leonardo DiCaprio did with Scorsese, his career is pretty much just a bunch of Growing Pains episodes.

The fact that someone could watch what Derrick Henry did to the NFL’s best defense on Monday night and still be like, “Yeah, I’m not that impressed” just goes to show you the amount of disrespect he gets for everything he’s accomplished. On that 76-yard touchdown that Jason so desperately wants to remove from his stat line, Derrick reached a top speed of 21.80 miles per hour. That’s the fastest speed of any player on a football field this season. 21.80 miles per hour! My man was speeding in a school zone. Tyreek Hill, Henry Ruggs, John Gruden leaving Las Vegas… none of them have been faster than Derrick Henry this season. World-class sprinters, when they run, reach speeds of 22 miles per hour. Derrick Henry is Usain Bolt but with the body of Rulon Gardner. And if anyone just got that Rulon Gardner reference, then I owe you a damn high five.

Here are some fun Derrick Henry facts for you to nibble on:

  • Derrick Henry has rushed for 100+ yards in 5 of his 6 games this year.
  • Derrick Henry has more yards rushing than TWENTY-FIVE (25!) NFL teams. (And he’s two yards away from having more than TWENTY-SEVEN NFL teams.)
  • Derrick Henry is only the 3rd running back in HISTORY to rush for 750+ yards and 10 touchdowns in his first six games, joining only Eric Dickerson and FREAKING JIM BROWN.
  • Derrick Henry has 3 games with 125 rush yards and 3 touchdowns… and those all came over his last 5 games. No other player on an active roster has 3 games with 125 rush yards and 3 touchdowns… over the course of their ENTIRE CAREERS!

We’re not just witnessing a great season, we’re in the midst of an all-time great career. Anyone who disagrees probably thought the Monkees were better than the Beatles.

We started making the case last year, but this year, we mean it even more. It’s time Derrick Henry gets seriously considered for the MVP. If you watched any of MNF, you saw just how much the Bills’ defense – again, the #1 defense in the sport – was locked in solely on 22. You can’t tell me that when 11 guys on defense are completely focused on one man like that he’s NOT valuable. You can’t say the only reason Ryan Tannehill is having a resurgence in Tennessee is because of Derrick Henry but then say he’s NOT valuable. You can’t say because Derrick Henry isn’t a quarterback, he’s NOT valuable. That’s not how this works.

So go ahead and join the movement that’s already been started by, of all people, *checks notes* Shannon Sharpe??

Damn, people. Don’t let Shannon Sharpe beat you to a take. Go ahead and hop on the Derrick Henry for MVP train now.


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.


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