Trade it ain’t so.
A couple weeks ago, Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb was traded to the Washington Redskins for two draft picks (A 2nd Round pick this year and either a 3rd or 4th round pick next year), which seems about right for a 6-time Pro Bowl Quarterback. (If you couldn’t sense the sarcasm in that previous sentence then you oughta try reading it again.) Honestly, what are the Philadelphia Eagles thinking? That would be like Saturday Night Live firing Darrell Hammond for some young Jewish kid named Andy. Or like the Philadelphia Eagles trading away Donovan McNabb for some young white kid named Kevin.
Wait. That second one IS what happened. Gah, it almost sounds more moronic when written down.
But don’t get me wrong, trading away your team’s most successful quarterback in franchise history will probably benefit you in the long run. I mean, if you couldn’t win with McNabb, what makes you think you’ll win with Kevin Kolb (pronounced “Cobb” in Philadelphia, pronounced “Who?” every where else in America)?
However, the Eagles aren’t alone in idiotic trades. In fact, they join an elite group of teams that have performed just-as-dumb trades and now completely regret it all. Consider this a trade journal.
The Worst Trades of All Time
Traded from Tampa Bay Buccaneers to San Fransisco 49ers
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers have had their fair share of embarrassing moments in their franchise’s history. The 1976 season when their team didn’t win a game, their hideous old orange uniforms, and Super Bowl XXIX when Steve Young won Super Bowl MVP… For San Fransisco. And to think, the Bucs once had Steve Young on their roster.
Traded from Kansas City Chiefs to Minnesota Vikings
Jared Allen was a the staple in that Kansas City defense. So the Chiefs took a page out of the Kansas City Royals’ Strategic Plan Book: when a player gets good, ship him away to another team. So the Chiefs traded him for some draft picks. In their defense, Jared Allen is probably the weirdest guy in the league. Seriously, he is if Willy Wonka was in the movie Deliverance. However, that doesn’t negate the fact that he has recorded 29 sacks over the past two seasons with the Vikings. And it doesn’t negate the fact that the Chiefs have had 6 wins since dealing him away.
Traded from Me to Robbie King
I still have trouble sleeping at night thinking about this trade. I allowed my friend to talk me into trading my Ken Griffey Jr. Rookie Card for a transparent Rob Nen gold sticker card. I don’t know what was going through my mind. I was young and naive. Robbie King, I hope you sold the card for a lot of money… And then got mugged.
Traded from Atlanta Falcons to Green Bay Packers
You guys probably don’t know who Brett Favre is, but he plays quarterback in the NFL. In his career in Atlanta, he attempted 4 passes. He completed only two of these passes. However, those completions were to the other team. After his rocky NFL start, Atlanta traded him to Green Bay for a first round draft pick which they eventually used on running back Tony Smith. Now, 3 consecutive AP MVP awards, 2 Super Bowl appearances, 11 Pro Bowl selections, and 2 retirements later, Brett Favre is one of the best quarterbacks to play the game. But hey, cheer up Atlanta, had you never have traded away Favre, you never would have had the success of Chris Chandler in your franchise.
Traded from Edmonton Oilers to Los Angeles Kings
Two hours after winning the Stanley Cup with the Edmonton Oilers in 1988, Wayne Gretzky, the greatest hockey player of all time, was told that the Oilers were looking to trade him away. And at no better time too! I’ve heard the saying buy low, sell high, but that is just ridiculous. However, the Oilers did go on to win the Stanley Cup the very next year without him. So maybe it wasn’t that bad of a move? Who knew?
Traded from 99 Problems And A Pitch Ain’t One to David’s Wright Hand Men
Fantasy Baseball, two seasons ago. Manny Ramirez starts playing awful to help get himself traded away from the Red Sox. Manny was Tiger and the Red Sox were Elin. Their relationship was extremely screwed up. And so was my fantasy team, since Manny wasn’t producing stats. So I decide to trade away Manny for Mark Teahen. Sure enough, a few weeks later, Manny Ramirez is traded to the Los Angeles Dodgers and explodes for the rest of the season. Needless to say, Mark Teahen did not.
Traded from Detroit Tigers to Atlanta Braves
The Detroit Tigers dealt away John Smoltz, who, at the time, was only a year outside of high school. They traded him to an Atlanta Braves team who was the proud owner of veteran ace pitcher Doyle Alexander. Don’t remember ole Doyle? Welcome to the club. Right off the bat, no pun intended, Doyle was amazing going 9-0 with a 1.53 ERA in his first 11 starts. However, in two years with the Tigers, Doyle finished 20-29. Whereas, John Smoltz… well, let’s just say he had some success in his career.
Traded from Boston Red Sox to New York Yankees
Of all these horrific trades listed, none of them, no matter how bad, cursed the trading team to not win a championship for over 80 years. Well, none except this one. In fact, not only did the Red Sox suffer after trading away the Babe, but their arch rivals, the New York Yankees, excelled. A year after the trade, the Yankees won their first World Series. Now they have 27. Aside from the fact that he was the best baseball player to ever play the game, yeah, it was still a dumb trade.