Saturday, June 22, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

The Titans Won’t Stop Spitting In Vols Fans Faces By Not Becoming The Vols

This blog post might rub some of you the wrong way, but I 100% agree with ol’ Charlie here. The Titans won’t stop spitting in Vols fans faces.

It started when the team first moved to Nashville, 25 years ago this season. They did not pander to Vols fans by having the team play in the thriving metropolis of Knoxville. The THIRD largest city in Tennessee! I mean, it has a sun sphere for crying out loud. Total spit in the face.

Then when the team unveiled new uniforms, they did the unthinkable of sticking with a loose variation of their historic color scheme from their Houston heritage instead of adopting the beautiful highway cone orange that Tennessee fans – and only Tennessee fans – have come to know and love. That was like hocking a loogie in the faces of Vols fans.

Or how about drafting players? Why is it the Tennessee Titans never draft Tennessee Vols players, except for when they do?

But like other than that, when have they ever drafted Tennessee Vols players? You’d think if you wanted Vols fans to root for your team on Sunday, you would only draft Vols. For example, it’s an extremely sickening fact that the Titans traded up to draft a quarterback from the Vols rival instead of selecting a hobbling Hendon Hooker whose ACL is more shredded than receipts from the Jeremy Pruitt era. Half the Titans roster is injured anyway, why wouldn’t they want another injured guy on board? That’s just pure mucus-coated saliva shot right in Vols fans’ faces.

Hell, when Jonathan Crompton went pro, he was taken in the fifth round and the Titans had FIVE picks before he was drafted. That’s five spits. Right in the face. And then he went to play in the Canadian Football League, and the Titans didn’t even try to change leagues to make a trade for him. And then they didn’t even say “sorey, eh” for not pandering. That’s some maple spit to the face!

That kinda reminds all Vols fans of the 2016 NFL Draft when the Titans had the audacity to draft a Heisman Trophy winner named Derrick from the Vols’ BIGGEST rival, rather than drafting another senior running back from the orange and white, Ralph Abernathy IV. If you’re asking, “Who?!” That’s solely because of the Titans’ unwillingness to pander. Hope you got a V. Stiviano visor, Vol fans, because there’s some projectile drool heading straight toward your face.

And while we’re on the topic of orange and white QBs… It did feel like the Titans were extending an orange-plated olive branch when they signed Josh Dobbs last season. Like they were licking the spit off our faces to apologize. But then they took that licked-up saliva and spit it right back in our faces by not re-signing him this offseason. Just blatant disrespect. That man won you a total of zero games and you couldn’t even thank him (and or the loyal VFL’s who support your franchise each week) by handing him a contract? SPIT, MEET FACE.

So yeah, I’m on board with Chuck here. It’s just disgusting what the Titans are doing… or NOT doing. Why wouldn’t an NFL franchise pander to the fan base of a school over 2.5 hours away? Who knows? Instead, they’d rather just spizz all over Vols fans’ faces. Vols fans aren’t asking for much. They’re merely asking for the Titans to be more like the Vols in every way mainly because it’s too hard to compartmentalize their fandom from one day to the next. Especially when those days are back-to-back in the week! If you’ve ever tried it, you would know. And if you’re not a Vol fan, you certainly wouldn’t get it. Because you don’t have spit on your face.

P.S. Here’s a pretty sick photoshop I made of Josh Dobbs as a Titan and Vol… What coulda been, ya know?


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.