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The Ladies Room: Hi My Name Is Erin

I’ve always wanted to be the first girl something. First girl on the moon. First girl president. First girl in the NBA. I could only imagine Scottie Pippen passing the ball to Michael Jordan. M.J. dribbles “up the lane,” goes up for one of his amazing flying through the air slam dunks, but at the last minute decides to pass to who? …ME. I was tall and slow, so I was perfect to play center in any team that would let me. The hot pink band that held my new glasses securely to my face and my tendency to foul out by half time began to cause me problems, so I also took up the next best thing, the trombone. Soon the other girls were taller than me and I just kept getting better at the trombone, so it was then I decided to give up my NBA dreams and focus on becoming the nerdiest human possible.

I was born and raised in the great Northwest and yes, I was the Clark College Penguin on an occasion or two. No, Penguins don’t do flips. I am a PAC-10 follower and I am genetically disposed to being an OREGON DUCKS FAN. I have a few SEC shirts and I like various teams based on personal experiences that I’ve had with people who are their fans.

I have a few teams that I love and quite a few teams that I hate. I hate the LOS ANGELES LAKERS.

I will play you in any sport even if I know I’ll lose.  And I probably will (unless you’re a music major). I learn most of my sport information by eavesdropping on men’s conversations and doing my best to remember the stuff that will make me look awesome to bring up in conversations with my guy friends later. It works like a charm. Obviously.

Korked Bats needs me. Let’s be real. The women need a voice on Korked Bats like we needed our own basketball league and the right to vote.

So allow me to address both the ladies and gentlemen that follow this site.

Ladies: I will be here to help you know just enough information to impress people at Super Bowl parties. I will be here to make sure you know the main differences between defense and offense and most importantly, I will be here to fill you in on the pro football players who are good and bad to date.

Gentlemen: I am not trying to beat you at sports knowledge. I won’t remember how many rushing yards Joe Montana ran in 1997. I will always forget how they decide what college team goes to what bowl game and I could care less about why nobody puts a salary cap on baseball.

0 thoughts on “The Ladies Room: Hi My Name Is Erin

  • Avatar
    February 21, 2011 at 10:32 am
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    I approve of this message. Way to go Erin!

    Reply
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  • Avatar
    February 21, 2011 at 10:58 am
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    Korked Bats is PERFECT for you, Erin! I am officially a Fan!

    Reply
  • Avatar
    February 21, 2011 at 11:03 am
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    Awwwww yeauh. Nice to see Erin on board. This should make for reading of the most excellent variety.Not only is she one of the most awesome people alive, she is hilarous and a genius to boot. Also, it should be noted that she is not able to keep a straight face when people fart in yoga class and she has the most fantastic use of the “escalator” move to impress/pick up men in the gym.

    Welcome, Erin. And always represent the womens.

    Reply
  • Avatar
    February 21, 2011 at 11:07 am
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    ’bout time girls are representing in the sports action. nice work, keep that NBA dream alive.

    Reply
  • Avatar
    February 21, 2011 at 11:54 am
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    i only ever want to know enough things about sports to have one-liners in any conversation. thankfully this will be provide me those one-liners. thanks erin, for helping us girls who also do not care about the baseball salary cap.

    Reply
  • Avatar
    February 21, 2011 at 12:55 pm
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    How funny & entertaining.. I love this!
    Way to go chicka, keep rockin’ it!

    Reply
  • Avatar
    February 21, 2011 at 1:50 pm
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    As if I needed another reason to read Korked Bats, way to go to their writing team for bringing Erin on board. Boom.

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  • Avatar
    February 21, 2011 at 6:42 pm
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    Thank you Erin for the hope you have given me. I too at one time dreamt of being the first Lady fillintheblank. To see where destiny has brought you, from down and out basketball player to trombone to Clark Penguin and now to this esteemed role….I can’t wait to see what the future holds for me. Maybe I can be the first female AT&T Wireless salesperson at VanMall. Anything is possible now!
    (congrats :)

    Reply
  • Avatar
    February 21, 2011 at 10:32 pm
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    Way to go, first girl! We who know NOTHING about sports salute you!

    Dear KorkedBats, I had heard of you before but now I have bookmarked you.

    Reply
  • Avatar
    February 21, 2011 at 10:52 pm
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    Go Erin! Go!! Yeah Pinguins!!

    Reply
  • Avatar
    February 21, 2011 at 11:37 pm
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    ERIN! Your ass rocks! (Excuse the profanity, that’s just sports talk-but you know that.) But seriously, I laughed my ass off while at the same time, my mind was feeling so informed. You are awesome–I look forward to future posts!

    Reply
  • Avatar
    February 22, 2011 at 8:12 am
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    I’ve never seen so many women on one sports blog before!

    Reply
  • Avatar
    February 23, 2011 at 2:42 pm
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    Good job Erin!!! Hope you can keep these guys on their toes. Great addition to the Korked Bats team!

    Reply
  • Avatar
    February 23, 2011 at 10:27 pm
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    I know very little about sports and don’t care to but after reading Erin’s post, I just might become somewhat of a fanatic! Great job Erin!

    Reply

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