The 2020 Korkie Awards
The Korkie Awards are Korked Bats’ way of recapping the year that was. Not to toot our own horn, but it’s probably the highest honor you can receive in the online sports and comedy blogging landscape.
Many people who have won Oscars, Nobel Peace Prizes, Pulitzer Prizes, and J.D. Power Awards have coveted winning a Korkie and have even been quoted as saying “What’s a Korkie?” and “Please leave me alone” and “If you try and get me to comment on Korkies one more time I’m going to call the police.” Lol! See? It’s a beloved award for millions!
In a year like 2020, you might think there were no redeeming qualities of this year. Well, you’d be wrong, idiot! There were and we bring them to light in this year’s Korkie Awards. All categories and nominees can be seen below.
Plus, as an added bonus, we also call comedian Aziz Ansari live on the air and give a long-overdue hair update.
Watch or listen to the Korkies here:
Here is the complete list of categories (with nominees). Click on certain nominees for more info.
Big Baby Of The Year
Anyone in politics
That Big Baby That Went Viral Before The Pandemic
(Category starts at 3:59)
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Best Corgi Award
Pembroke Welsh Corgi
Cardigan Welsh Corgi
(Category starts at 5:09)
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The Shittiest Year Award
The Entire Jets Organization
Odell Beckham Jr.
(Category starts at 7:02)
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The Short-Lived App Of The Year
Parler
Any Workout App You Downloaded At The Beginning of Quarantine
(Category starts at 10:39)
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Cutest Couple
Mandolorian and Baby Yoda
Will Compton and Taylor Lewan
Derrick Henry and us, Korked Bats
Charles Barkley and Shaq
(Category starts at 13:51)
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The Ridiculous Fad Of The Year Award
Guys Wearing Dresses
Dancing On NFL Team Logos
Buying Out All The Toilet Paper*
Murder Hornets
*-Medicated Paper For The Water Closet
(Category starts at 16:45)
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Most Hyped Event Of 2020 Award
Trevor Bauer Signing
The Last Dance
The new Call Of Duty
Grit’s TikTok
(Category starts at 25:13)
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MLB: Major League Bitch Of The Year
(Category starts at 36:12)
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Shittiest Person Who Died This Year
Hitler Bringing Back To Life Just To Kill Him Again
The Guy Who Invented Trailer Hitches
Martin Shkreli (not technically dead)
The Guy Who Stole Your First Crush
The Guy Who Ordered The Bat Soup
(Category starts at 38:21)
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Dumbest Name Of The Year
Elon Musk’s Son, X Æ A-12
Football Team
(Category starts at 43:56)
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Weirdest Night For An NFL Game Award
Tuesday
Wednesday
Friday
Thursday
(Category starts at 49:13)
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Frank Fact™ Of The Year
It Takes 2 Years To Grow A Single Pineapple
A Whale’s Vagina Is The Size Of A Living Room
Our 10th President, John Tyler, born in 1970, Has Two Grandchildren That Are Still Living Today*
*-one has died since this Frank Fact was read
(Category starts at 52:42)
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Best Overall Hair/Beard In The Korked Bats Universe
A.D.
Grit
Carl from The Cineboiz
Austin
(Category starts at 57:39)
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Good News Of The Year
Vaccine announced
Keeping Up With The Kardashians is ending
Ultimate Tag on FOX has not been canceled… yet
(Category starts at 1:02:10)
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Dumb Social Experiment Candidate Of The Year
J.J. Redick
Kerri Walsh Jennings
Lindsey Vonn
A.J. Brown
(Category starts at 1:05:50)
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Most Likely To Succeed
Space-X
COVID-20
Crippling Depression
You
(Category starts at 1:12:39)
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Best Place To Hold A Press Conference And/Or Buy A Rake
Home Depot
Lowe’s
Four Seasons Total Landscaping
(Category starts at 1:17:43)
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Best Face Of The Year
Joe Kelly Boo-Boo Lip
Michael Jordan’s “I took that personally” Face
Rob Lowe wearing an NFL hat
Andy Reid/Bill Belichick wearing a mask
(Category starts at 1:18:21)
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The Worst Of The Year
The Way Patrick Mahomes Looks In A Helmet
Bowdoin College Canceling Their Football Season
People Who Say “We Did A Thing”
The pandemic
(Category starts at 1:20:07)
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The Korkie Of The Year
Ben DiNucci (aka The Noooooch!)
Allan Bell
Kevin Negandhi (The Junk Drawer’s mascot)
Regis Philbin
(Category starts at 1:21:29)
Congrats to all the nominees, and remember, if you don’t win, it’s still an honor just to be nominated.
On to 2021…
