Bad news for the rest of the league. I’m afraid the NHL just let Nashville get as hot as their chicken. Don’t ask me how, but the Preds signed Steven Stamkos, Jonathan Marchessault, and Brady Skjei. If you’re one of those folks who “doesn’t really do hockey” well, let me hit you why this is massive for the Preds.

Who Are These Guys?

First off, let’s meet the newest Nashville transplants. The only one’s who moved to town for something other than country music.

Steven Stamkos: Picture Tom Brady on skates. Or at very least John Elway on skates. Stamkos is a two-time Cup champ and has a knack for scoring goals like it’s his day job – which it is, but like he’s really good at it. Dude, can light the lamp like a clap-on. And after he does, you’ll get your clap on.

Jonathan Marchessault: Think of him as the underdog from your favorite sports movie. He might not have been a household name, but boy, does he also know how to light the lamp. He’s the kind of player who sneaks up on you and before you know it, he’s scored a hatty.

Brady Skjei: Pronounced “Shay” (yeah, hockey names, man), he’s the guy who stands between the puck and the net. A solid defenseman with the grace of a dancer but the toughness of a linebacker. Should the Titans look to sign him to sure up their linebacking corps? Look, people are asking.

Why Is This a Big Deal?

This is your favorite band adding three more rockstars overnight. Like if Chad Kroeger from Nickelback, Scott Stapp from Creed, and whoever the lead singer of Hinder is all decided to join forces with your favorite band Imagine Dragons. This is the Dodgers grabbing Freeman, Ohtani, and Betts. But in hockey. Three of the top 5 free agents this summer will now be rocking gold. Here’s what you can expect:

1. Goals Galore: With Stamkos and Marchessault, it’s like adding extra hot sauce to your already spicy chicken. Imagine a top line with them and Fil Forsberg, who is coming off — oh yeah, just the franchise record for goals scored in Preds history. Frankly, we might see the puck in the opposing team’s net more than we see it out of it.
2. Solid Defense: Brady Skjei is like that friend who always has your back. His job? Stop pucks, hit hard, and look cool doing it. Solid defenders is nothing new to Predators lore, but expect to add his weird-ass name to the long list of Preds defensemen greats.
3. Star Power: These are household names for a team that’ll be just 8 years removed from a Cup run that rocked Lower Broad, people are still talking about it.

The Barry Trotz Effect

Now, let’s not forget the mastermind behind this wizardry – Barry Trotz, the Predators’ General Manager. He’s the king Midas of hockey. Everything he touches turns to gold. I don’t want to get out ahead of my skates here, but every move he has made has worked. And worked well. If hockey were a cooking show, Barry Trotz would be the chef whipping up a Michelin-starred meal out of a few basic ingredients and a lot of magic. And we should all just stand back and watch Chef Trotzy cook. And this triple signing on the first day of free agency, just before a long holiday weekend is like your dad stepping back from the grill and saying “Hold my beer,” while he puts another steak on the grill. Or three of them.

What’s Next for the Preds?

Now that the Predators have assembled the Avengers, I’m sure there will be a bit of a learning curve. Your top line has 120-plus goals between them, and last I checked, they still only play with one puck. But the fire on 5th and Broadway is most certainly back. I just hope the Preds don’t continue to outprice the diehards. But I know I’ll be watching closely from Chicago.

So, Why Should You Care?

Even if you’re just here for the nachos, beer, and intermission bands, the Predators’ new signings mean more fun for everyone. More goals, more wins, and more reasons to high-five strangers and chant “IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!” at opposing goalies.

Just let me warn the NHL one last time: do not let the Nashville Predators get hot!

The post I’m Afraid The NHL Let The Nashville Predators Get Hot appeared first on Korked Bats.

Oh boy. The Canucks done and messed up. They let the Preds get hot. You’re not supposed to do that. Look, am I over reacting to one win in a playoff series? Probably. But this is the first playoff win the Preds have seen since 2021, so you know I’m going to enjoy it. Especially with the series returning to the 615. That Bridgestone barn better be creating more hostility than Morgan Wallen on Lower Broad. (Let the record state: This is NOT me condoning throwing patio furniture.) Are the Preds back? People are asking.

The post Do NOT Let The Preds Get Hot! Instant Reaction to Game 2 of Predators-Canucks appeared first on Korked Bats.

We put a poll out asking if we should bring our reaction videos (that we make for every bit of breaking Titans news) to the ice and break down the Preds first playoff trip since 2022, and well, we got enough of a vote for yes to do them. So here we are. And here the Preds are losing the first game of the series. Winnable game? Sure. Frutrating too? Definitely. Can the Preds still win this series? People are asking.

I do know one thing however: do NOT let the Preds get hot!

The post Let’s Do That Hockey! Instant Reaction To Game 1 of Predators-Canucks appeared first on Korked Bats.

You probably only clicked on this link if you are an Phoenix sports fan. in which case, it was an angry click. So allow me to preface this by saying: I love the city of Phoenix. I have friends who live there. It’s a gem of a city. And I have no ill will toward Phoenix or any of their pro sports teams. I like the Cardinals (currently the best new uniforms in the NFL, IMO), I think the Suns are dope, I hold no disdain toward the Diamondbacks (except for the fact they once employed Randy Johnson), and I, like everyone in Phoenix, never think negatively of the Coyotes mainly because we never think about the Coyotes.

So just know this blog does not come from a dick-ish place. I just legitimately have to ask…

Do Phoenix sports fans exist?

Look, people are asking. Phoenix sports fans, to me, are a lot like Los Angeles sports fans with the only difference being that I understand why LA sports fans don’t always show up to sporting events. Have you ever been to Southern California?! There is so much to do. The beach, the mountains, the Madame Tussauds Celebrity Wax Museum on Hollywood Blvd. But when Phoenix fans don’t show to games, what are they doing? Playing golf? Hiking the hills in the desert? Not that Phoenix is a boring city, because it’s far from it. But there is no beach. There is no skiing mountains. And the temperature is usually hotter than Sam Hartman (or the people who live in Phoenix… hubba, hubba). If I was a Phoenix resident, sports would be my life. It allows you something other than real estate to invest in while getting you in an air-conditioned building. But for whatever reason, Phoenix fans continue to disappoint (aside from maybe Suns fans – shoutout Suns in four!)

And by that, I mean… what is this, D-Backs fans?

The Diamondbacks haven’t been to the NLCS since Britney Spears shaved her head, and yet you can get into this year’s NLCS for cheaper than a month of Netflix. THAT SHOULD NOT BE THE CASE, SILICON DESERT. You have an exciting young MLB team that completely dismantled the 100-win Dodgers. Tickets to watch NLCS baseball in The Valley of the Sun should not be cheaper than tickets to Killers of the Flower Moon. But it’s not just the Diamondbacks. When you pair that with the fact that every two weeks we get a headline about how the Coyotes are looking for a new arena it feels like their days in the desert feel numbered. In their entire season last year, they drew 188k fans in 41 home games. That’s fewer than one Indianapolis 500 for an entire season. They average 4,600 fans per game. That’s lower than most high school graduations. Look, I get that ice sports and climates where komodo dragons call home don’t really mix, but still. And the Cardinals… well, they haven’t allowed a whole lot to cheer for since 2015. So I’ll give a pass there. But look, Phoenix, you have a team in the NLCS, maybe create more of a demand where the ticket to get in costs more than the beer at the game.

UPDATE (after the start of NLCS Game 3): If I’m going to knock them for the get-in price, I have to give props when they show up. The crowd for Game 3 looks solid, especially for a day game in a weekday. Well done, Phoenix. I’ll eat my words for this game. With that said, if the D-Backs lose this game, please don’t fail to show up for Game 4.

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What a heartwarming story to see the Vegas Golden Knights end their 6-year championship drought with their franchise’s first-ever Stanley Cup. Their fans, who I’m assuming are all Elvis impersonators, must be so relieved to have experienced that feeling after all these years. It’s truly remarkable, and it gives other fan bases hope that some day they’ll be able to experience the same thing.

The post God Bless Vegas Golden Knights Fans For Overcoming 6 Years Of Futility And Finally Winning Their First Stanley Cup appeared first on Korked Bats.

This original take came in a throwaway line on The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz by Chris Wittyngham before he became Quittyngham. And I felt like I needed to expound upon this take (that I doubt he even considered to be a take, more than just an outward thought). If we at Korked Bats ever start a company softball team, you better believe we’re naming ourselves the Vampires. For two reasons: 1. more teams need to be named the Vampires (*Stugotz voice* “THE VAMPS!”). And 2. Bats is in our name, so I feel like it’s only fitting. But anyway, here’s my argument for the mythical parasitical creature becoming a lovable team mascot…

Hello, Lads. More teams need to be nicknamed the Vampires

Let me start my argument with a simple question: Where would you rather go to college? At a university referred to as a Cardinal, where their mascot is a dumb – and creepy AF – tree, or where the mascot is a bloodsucking Don Juan with a widow’s peak? At a school of higher learning, would you rather rah rah for a human with a buckeye for a head, or root root for a fair-skinned, fanged, Animorphable bat? Would you rather cheer for an ominous red blob from the hills of western Kentucky or pull for a monster so terrifying it was the main star of four Y.A. novels written by author Stephanie Meyer, and later adapted into five full-length feature films starring Robert Pattinson?! OH HELL YEAH, amirite?! Actually, don’t answer that because Big Red is a dope ass mascot. Whatever the hell it is. But still. Vampires are doper than 99. Plus, like Aubrey Plaza, Vampires are having a moment. You check the trailer for that new Nic Cage movie?

And if we want to talk about their place in current popular culture, well, sorry Bruce Wayne, but vampires were the original Batman. And technically Batman was originally a vampire.

Like how are we gifting professional franchises the team nickname of KRAKEN before VAMPIRES? And it’s not just hockey. What about the JAZZ or the BROWNS? THE FREAKIN BROWNS?! Hell, that franchise already sucks the life out of 70,000 fans every Sunday. The rebrand there would be perfect. Hell, if we should expect any league to make this jump, we should be pleading with the NBA. They change mascots all the time and have dumb ones like Wizards. So surely one of their franchise will drive a stake through their own heart and roll with the Vamps instead. Here, I went ahead and mocked up a logo for you.

Did I just recycle the 76ers dribbling Benny Frank logo? Ok, maybe. But this is just a concept. If you want a truly original logo, here’s another completely unique logo I just whipped up on a whim.

Look, all I’m saying is: Vampires. Professional, collegiate, or our own company softball mascot. Collision course. The funniest thing to do would be to make a Vampire the mascot of a team with a different team nickname. If the Titans mascot can be a damn raccoon or the Chiefs mascot can be a wolf who robs banks, I’m pretty sure the Steelers could trade in Steely McBeam for Vampy McScream. Braves? Your mascot is a… well, we don’t even know what the hell Bloopy is. So why not exchange him out for a Hell, Dolphins, you should make your costumed mascot a blood-thirsty beautillion. Why? Why the hell not? And speaking of hell. Art Briles.

Cheers, Witty.

The post More Teams Should Be Nicknamed The ‘Vampires’ appeared first on Korked Bats.

A beloved name in sporting goods will soon be no more. Eastbay, a company whose mail catalog became a favorite of sports fans across the country, will reportedly cease operations in 2023. According to Wisconsin Public Radio, 210 workers will be laid off as part of the closure in Wausau, Wis.—the same town where the company was founded in 1980. Evolving from a small regional venture into a nationwide powerhouse, Eastbay began selling its own line of clothing in 1990. The company offered jerseys, jackets and other paraphernalia in team colors, as well as an array of sneakers from Nike, Adidas, Converse and other companies.

via Sports Illustrated

Every year at Christmas time, I always feel a little older. I feel a little more of my childhood dying. It’s the sad reality of growing up. But that feeling was expedited even more this year with the news that Eastbay is closing at the end of the year.

Shot. To. The. Heart.

Now, admittedly, I did absolutely nothing to keep Eastbay alive. I’ve never once made a purchase from Eastbay, whether it be online or the more popular option, via their catalog. But you can bet your ass I read the hell out of that catalog every single time it came to my house. Cover to cover. Item to item. I read it more thoroughly than any book assigned in school. If we had to do book reports on the quarterly catalog, my grades would’ve been high enough to get me into Harvard. From the sports jerseys to the baseball equipment to the sneakers that were way too overpriced. At least according to my mom. So I may not have bought much, but man, did I browse. With Eastbay, I was the epitome of the customer in the mall who told retail workers, “No, thanks. I’m just looking.” And if just browsing could raise stock prices, I would’ve single-handedly turned Eastbay into GameStop.

The catalog was nothing more than a picture book to give me ideas for Christmas. I’d hang onto each catalog for months, circling the top gifts inside that I wanted. And circle I did. There was no modesty in the amount I circled. A Tracy McGrady Houston Rockets jersey? Why not? Sure, I have no connection to Houston and don’t even like the Rockets. But with that Eastbay catalog, anything was possible. The world was my oyster. A Derrick Lee Cubs jersey? I’d wear it! What about an Emmitt Smith Cardinals jersey? That’d be dope! Ya know why? Because it’s featured on the pages of an Eastbay catalog.

So to Eastbay, the Victoria’s Secret catalog for young boys, thank you for the many years of hope and capitalism. You were a real one. And now, a little more of my childhood is dead.

The post Eastbay Is Dead, RIP In Peace To A Real One appeared first on Korked Bats.

Yo, Philadelphia, what the hell?! Save some good sports for the rest of us.

Like seriously, WTF is going on?! All of a sudden, Philadelphia is the epicenter of sports. The Eagles are playing like they’re quarterbacked by Donovan McNabb and coached by Andy Reid. And the Phillies are back in the World Series like Chase Utley is manning second and the Flyin’ Hawaiian Shane Victorino is making plays in right. But even then, the Phillies and Eagles were never fully dominant at the same time like they are right now. And with the Phillies and Eagles, we should expect them to be great every couple of years. It’s the fact that even the Sixers and Flyers are adding to the mix that makes us all feel like that Jackie Chan meme.

Sure, the Sixers are currently 0-3 to start this season, but let’s be real. We all know they’re going to be a player in the east come playoff time. I mean, they won’t win the East because they employ James Harden and well, the process just doesn’t account for going that deep into the playoffs. But they’ll still be good.

But the real shocker is the damn Flyers. Where the hell did this 4-1-0 start come from? I mean, yeah, John Tortorella is ALWAYS a great hire. He’s like a meaner Barry Trotz. But how the hell is he making this big of an impact so immediately? And we’re a big Torts blog. Always have been. Even when he hated puppies.

The Flyers won 25 games ALL of last season, and this year, they’ve already won 4 out of 5. Did the city of Philadelphia sell their soul? Like can they just chill out for a minute? Choose one team to be good and let the rest be mediocre like just about every other major market in the country. Please? And I’m not just saying this for the rest of the country’s sake. I’m saying this for YOUR sake, Philadelphia. Because your city’s infrastructure won’t be able to withstand a Phillies World Series title and Eagles Super Bowl in the same calendar year. Seriously, the Liberty Bell will get another crack. Fans will eat more than just horse crap off the street. I care about you, Philadelphia. My mom is from Philly. I have a soft spot for the city. This doesn’t come from a place of malice. This comes from a place of love. From a place of Brotherly Love. Trust us. You do NOT want that to happen. You will not be able to handle it. Broad Street won’t be able to handle it. Hell, that one dude with the Philadelphia Phanatic tattooed around his belly button won’t be able to handle it. He will literally die. So do us all a favor and just chill out for a bit.

P.S. I will admit, this video is dope as hell.

The post Hey Philadelphia, Can You Guys Just Cool It For A Bit?! appeared first on Korked Bats.

OH HELL YES!

Whether you like hockey or you just occasionally pretend to like Justin Bieber, you should be pulling hard for the Lightning-Rangers series to go seven games. Why? Because there is a chance for all hell to break loose. Complete and total anarchy. You ever see the movie Cloverfield? It’ll be like that but without one giant monster. More like millions of little monsters roaming the streets of Manhattan. رهان المباريات Because this will create a war between two of the most defensive species on planet earth: Beliebers and hockey fans.

Frankly, I like both. Hell, I consider myself to be both. But I try to view life with a little more self-awareness than both. I know both groups think the subjects of their fanhood is the most important thing on earth. So what do you do? Do you delay the concert and piss off tens of thousands of teenage girls (and maybe a few adult male bloggers) *or* do you bump the hockey game to a different night possibly altering the travel schedules for a team and/or creating a competitive disadvantage for a team? betfinal I don’t know. It’s one of the reasons why I don’t work in event logistics like this. لعب لربح المال I merely blog about them and then root for pure and utter chaos.

The post If You Have No Skin In The Lighting-Rangers Series, You Should Root For A Game 7 At MSG… The Same Night As A Justin Bieber Concert appeared first on Korked Bats.

But I guess it’s pretty much on par for the way Nashville sports have gone this year. I mean after the Titans nabbed the #1 seed in the AFC, they went one and done in the playoffs. Meanwhile, the Predators far exceeded expectations this year only to poo-poo the bed in round one against the Colorado Avalanche.

If there was ever a year where Titans fans needed a deep playoff run by the Predators to distract themselves from the Titans brutal loss to the Bengals in the divisional round, Tannehill’s hashtag ads on Twitter, AJ Brown’s deleted tweets, AJ Brown’s trade to Philadelphia, Derrick Henry’s lack of workout videos, Treylon Burks not being able to make it through the first day of rookie minicamp, Tannehill not wanting to mentor Malik Willis, the cannibalization of Titans fans on Twitter, Ryan Tannehill just being alive, etc. it was this year. But instead, the Predators were the first team bounced from the playoffs and now it’s led us to a toxic experience online among Titans fans, which leads to tweets like this.

Now, this take was quickly squashed as it is quite the reach.

See what I mean? Just been that kind of offseason this year.

Many people will want to blame Ryan Tannehill. Mainly because people blame Ryan Tannehill for everything. In fact, every day on Titans Twitter there’s a new main character who tends to take the brunt of all hate. Some days it’s AJ Brown, other days it’s Treylon Burks, most days it’s Ryan Tannehill, other days it’s media members like Jeff Schwartz, Adam Rank, or Jared Stillman, and some days it’s just one of us random Titans fans. It really makes this tweet so true… not just for Twitter, but for Titans Twitter:

So while you want to blame anyone in two-toned blue (especially those named Ryan), I prefer to blame the team in town in gold. I love you, Predators, but your timing couldn’t have been worse. Nashville needed a distraction (one bigger than soccer – no offense, MLS… but keep doing your thing, Nashville SC, you’re awesome) to distract us from the disappointment of one of the most promising playoff runs in recent Titans history. But instead, we got literally nothing, and thus, it has led to us Titans fans eating each other like the Donner Party.

And sure, the Preds not only bringing back head coach John Hynes, but giving him a two-year contract extension after the franchise has gotten worse every single year in the playoffs for the past 5 years will help with the Titans fan disdain a bit – because it causes Predators fan disdain – but disdain is still disdain.

Nashville needs something good to distract us like a laser pointer distracting a cat. At least until Week 1 of the NFL season. But instead, we’re still more than 100 days away which means, this long offseason will only continue to get longer. Here’s hoping Ryan Tannehill doesn’t go on any more fishing trips.

The post Titans Fans Have Been Overly Feisty This Offseason And I Blame The Nashville Predators appeared first on Korked Bats.