Tuesday, July 23, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Sabbatical is Over — It’s Money Time Chackos

I have returned from my long winter vacation. I do not know why Huff is breathing down my neck. In a blog purely dedicated to sports (where the notion of an off-season was invented) I do not see what is so wrong with stepping down for a while. I just needed to re-invent myself for a little bit.
Let’s think about it. Lots of people in sports took extended
leave only to come back and be awesome.
1. Michael Jordan
Although I do have a theory that he actually was forced into an early retirement because he actually was suspended by David Stern for gambling on basketball. All this happened under the table to maintain the integrity of the sport. I will go into details in a later blog post.

2. Lance Armstrong
Stepped away from professional cycling because he got woo’ed away by Mizzou’s own Sheryl Crow or something like that. Actually I think it was because of cancer, but how the hell am I supposed to keep all of these facts straight. I have been in hibernation for the last 3 months.
3. Ricky Williams
Dude just wanted to toke it up for a while but came back to the league and was a big part of making the Dolphin’s somehow relevant again. I think he also had a stint in the CFL. Once again, still not in the mood to fact check. It is basically my second first day.
4. Stump the dog
He walked away from dog competitions after nearly dying at the age of 6, but was able to come out of retirement when he was 10 years old and winning best in show at the Westminster Dog Show.
5. Ryne Sandberg
The only reason the Cub great makes the countdown is because he is the only athlete to be legendary who has a name that resembles Ryan. Ryan Howard has a chance, but lets see if he can keep those lb’s off first. We discovered this fact when my friend Ryan Lauer learned that he was destined to never be a star athlete in anything because he has the least athletic name of all time.
So there you have it, lots of people take a break and come back. It is not a huge deal. And lots of stuff happened while I was gone. We added a K, my identity got jack’d, Huff tried to replace me, the Chiefs have started putting together the dream offseason, and the U.S. has the first president that I want on my rec basketball team.

3 thoughts on “Sabbatical is Over — It’s Money Time Chackos

  • Avatar
    February 17, 2009 at 11:37 pm

    Regarding Number 5 on your list Zach, a Ryan by the name of Nolan comes to mind.

  • Avatar
    February 18, 2009 at 9:52 am

    I am talking first name

  • Avatar
    February 19, 2009 at 1:32 am

    My favorite blogger is back! Another dream realized.


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