Thursday, June 20, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

PETTY CHANGE: Joe Burrow Inks The Richest Contract In NFL History Right As The Chiefs Kickoff Their Season

As an outsider looking in, the Chiefs-Bengals rivalry over the last two years is so funny to me. In the words of the late Keith Jackson, these two just “flat out don’t like each other.” This is like living across the street of two neighbors bickering over their hedges. I’m here for the petty wars. Obviously, we know the history of Chiefs-Bengals. Two years ago, the Bengals were seemingly the only team the Chiefs couldn’t beat, including with an 11-point lead in the AFC Championship. But the next year, the Chiefs got revenge after the Cincinnati mayor dropped one of the dopiest videos in the history of American politics (which is saying something over the last 7+ years). But now, a mere 8 months later, Joey B. made sure he stole some buzz from opening night and ripped some shine off those Chiefs rings (okay, the hyperbole is running wild in this blog, but I’m lemme cook, I’m on a roll). Only way this could’ve been more maniacal was if he backed up a literal BRINKS truck onto the field in the middle of the Chiefs’ ring ceremony. Now, of course, the Chiefs still have the last laugh since they won the Lombardi last year and beat the Bengals on the road to it, but I am all here for the petty wars between these two franchises. Unless Brittany Mahomes gets involved. Then I’m over it.

P.S. Handing out the richest contracts in league history is a bold move for the NFL’s lowest-valued franchise (via Forbes).


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.