Other Names Metta World Peace Considered
Metta World Peace, aka Ron Artest, aka that dude who tried to fight the entire Detroit Pistons home crowd, is known for making sound decisions. I mean, take his rap career for example.
So we shouldn’t be critical of his decision to change his name. Again.
Metta recently announced that he is changing his name to Panda Friend. Upon initial thoughts, this name sounds like the name of a low budget children’s anime cartoon. “Yeah, my kids are really into this show on Nick Jr. called Panda Friend. They can’t get enough of it.” Or even the name sounds like a job title at a zoo. “I just got hired on to be the newest Panda Friend at the New York Zoo. I work primarily in the panda cage. My job duties include feeding, nurturing, and holding the panda’s hair out of the toilet when they’re drunk. I’m a true Panda Friend.”
I even wonder if Metta eventually has plans to change his name to Panda Something More Than Friends, but it’s just too soon at this point. I mean, it’s not even Facebook official yet. Seriously, his Facebook page is still Metta World Peace. Honestly, I’m suddenly becoming intrigued by this relationship with Metta and said panda.
Although it may seem like it, Metta World Peace didn’t just come up with Panda Friend while eating at a popular Chinese buffet with his buddy. No. He had an entire list that he was considering of changing his name to before doing so.
And of course, like the great journalistic news (read: satire) website we are, we obtained that list and are ready to publish it.
So here are other names that Metta World Peace considered:
- Raven Thunder
- Speeding Box Truck
- Juvenile Delinquent’s Wish
- Insert Caption Here
- Formula Maneuver
- Blog
- Eddie Franklin
- Hovercraft Smile
- Pencil Sharpener
- Downstairs Attic
- Quality Penguin Game
- Dr. Medical Doctor, M.D.
- Friendship Bracelet Maker
- Matt Damon
- Zzzzzzzzzipper
- Sofa
- Bagel Slide
- John Doe A Deer A Female Deer
- John Deere
- Chocolate Cave Runner
- Hopscotch Rifle
- Sisqo 2
- Civil Love Not Civil War
- @JustinBieber
- Gravy Hamper
- Forced Until When
- Juanny Football
- Rake Leaves
- Octopus Bread
- York Peppermint Patrick
- Taco Food Truck Driver
- T-1000
- Trail Through The Enchanted Forest
- Savory Bobsled
- Cuba Gooding Sr.
- Brave Ironing Board
- Water Over The Bridge
- The Monopoly Guy
- Grocery Foot
- Unpleasant Experience At Costco
- Photo Booth Flash
- Or Maybe Not
- Gingivitis Prevention
- Rebate Debate
- Poodle Party
- Gary Glitter Fan
- Terry Francona’s Wife’s Purse
- Annoying Captcha Code
- Protective Eye Wear
- Snorkel Pantry
- Social Experiment
- Jim Porter
- Ronald Sterling
- Store Brand
- Cereal Killer
- Fred Couples
- Portable Taxi
- British Umbrella Power
- Clyde
- Voice Activated Garage
- Oil Dancer
- Vegetable Connoisseur
- High End Socks
- Spin Doctors’ Discography
- NBA Free Agent
- Ryan Seacrest
• • •
This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff
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