Now Arriving in LAX
Over this past weekend I was lucky enough to catch the NCAA Lacrosse Final Four and all I can say is “WOW!” For those of you that missed it, an unranked Notre Dame squad was able to make it to the Championship game before finally losing to the Duke Blue Devils in overtime. It was an amazing show of an amazingly underrated sport.
As a former lacrosse player, I have a high appreciation of the sport. However, I know that most people would rather watch Women’s Basketball than some stick-ball game. Luckily, it is the end of the season, so I have some proposals to the National Lacrosse Association so that they can increase their viewers and improve their game.
(Comment if you read this)
1. Duke was able to hold the ball for the last 2.5 minutes of the game… You have got to insert a shot clock.
2. The sport is whiter than a Norwegian Ski team… Let some black people play.
3. Don’t Let Abercrombie come close to you.
4. Male lacrosse players wear a full set of pads and the girls only wear goggles… Guys, Stop Being Wimps!
5. Ride on your sticks and try to catch the Golden Snitch.
6. Don’t let Adam Lambert wear you as armor.
7. Play it on Ice… Never mind, no one would watch that either.
8. The average collegiate players pads/helmet/stick cost over $400 combined… Be Less Expensive!
9. Don’t let your Referees wear rugby shorts.
10. Have a movie with Michael Jordan and Looney Toons.
11. Start calling it “The Crosse” to appeal to English speaking nations and “Le Crosse” to appeal to the French.
12. Don’t Commit Sexual Assault.
13. Let little kids smile in your team pictures.
14. Please be less Guido.
15. And Most Important of all… Let More Beavers Play!
*Sorry, I just really wanted to put this picture in here.