NFL Referees Out Here Lookin’ Like

NFL referees have one of the most difficult jobs in sports. Split-second decision-making, physical taxation, and constant criticism all contribute to the struggle that is being a ref. As we scold them weekly from our couches, shrouded in ignorance is our mostly invalid censure.

One way I personally like to perpetuate that condemnation is to make fun of NFL referees’ physical appearances as I see fit. It helps to blindly justify my frustration, all the while knowing my team should simply just play better. And on that note, I share with you the following content about what these refs look like in my eyes.

Brad Allen: Murr

A bit of an obscure comparison, it holds true: Brad Allen looks enough like Murr from Impractical Jokers to call him “the Murr ref.” Not much explanation is needed here. It’s as simple as Brad Allen looking like Murr.

Tony Corrente: Mob Boss

When I watch Tony Corrente, I’m reminded that, behind a man’s seemingly harmless face, could lie a sinister power, a life of guns, drugs, and crime. Not only does the name Corrente feel right when preceded by Don, his face and voice align with that of a North Jersey mafioso. This is a natural fit.

John Hussey: Murderer

I’m not so sure John Hussey has an upper lip, making him look as though he’s constantly grimacing, ready to strike—as if his temper is so short that he could snap at any moment and strangle a stranger. Now, the image below is his head on Jeffrey Dahmer’s body, but I don’t see John Hussey as a serial killer (just thought the image was absurd and funny). He’s more the type of killer who blacks out while he’s choking his wife to death.

Jerome Boger: Turtle

Jerome Boger has that prominent downturned upper lip, combined with a nearly parallel downturned nose. It’s very turtley, so here’s his head on a turtle. Now you’re all remembering Dana Carvey’s “turtle, turtle” thing from The Master of Disguise. You’re welcome.

Ronald Torbert: Mike Tirico’s Brother

Without glasses, these two look nothing alike, but adding spectacles makes them look like they could maybe be brothers or cousins. Photoshopping big adult heads on children is funny, though, so here you go.

Shawn Hochuli: Not His Dad

Following in his father’s footsteps, Shawn Hochuli is one of the NFL’s best refs. However, what he doesn’t have that his dad was well-known for is physical prowess. Ed is straight yoked, and Shawn is shameful in that regard. Get in the gym, Shawn. You’re an embarrassment to your family legacy.

NFL refs have a really tough job, but deep down, we as fans don’t care. We will blame them, call them names, and, as you have seen above, make petty content at their expense. At least we have something to thank them for.