NFL Preseason Clichés And What They Really Mean

NFL Training Camps began recently, which is exciting, because it means football season is almost here. However, it also means we have to deal with preseason clichés. Even the worst teams make it sound like they have a chance at winning it all. But let’s stop kidding ourselves, Josh McCown isn’t leading a team to the Super Bowl.

So we’re here to cut through the crap and tell you what these commonly used NFL Preseason Clichés really mean. That way you’ll know just what to expect this season.

 

Cliche: I think this guy has a lot of upside.

What it means: This guy will get cut, but contribute on a worse team.

 

Cliche: This guy is really fun to watch.

What it means: My opinion is now invalid, as I just said preseason football is fun to watch.

 

Cliche: These rookies could step in and play right away.

What it means: This team is so bad, they’ll be relying on players who aren’t even old enough to rent a car.

 

Cliche: He threw a lot of interceptions in practice today.

What it means: Why did we think it was a good idea to sign Matt Schaub in the offseason?!

 

Cliche: Our goal is to make the playoffs.

What it means: Our goal is to finish 3rd in our division.

 

Cliche: We’re going to air it out a lot this year.

What it means: Our offensive line isn’t good enough to run the ball, so we’re going to air it out a lot this year. So, in trying to do so, expect us to give up a lot of sacks.

 

Cliche: This guy is really athletic.

What it means: This guy is black.

 

Cliche: This guy has a high motor.

What it means: This guy is white.

 

Cliche: This guy is gay.

What it means: This guy is Michael Sam.

 

Cliche: This is the best team I’ve coached since I’ve been here.

What it means: Please don’t fire me yet.

 

Cliche: Our rookie quarterback’s excessive Las Vegas partying is a non-issue.

What it means: Our rookie quarterback invited me to his next Las Vegas party.

 

Cliche: We’ve got an explosive running game.

What it means: Our quarterback sucks.

 

Cliche: This is the best I’ve ever felt in my career.

What it means:  I’m old, but trying to convince everyone otherwise.

 

Cliche: This is the best shape I’ve ever been in.

What it means: I’m fat, but trying to convince everyone otherwise.

 

Cliche: Our punters look great.

What it means: We’re the Jacksonville Jaguars.

 

Cliche: We’re changing our approach this season.

What it means: We’re trying something else that probably won’t work.

 

Cliche: We’re going to be playing a lot faster this season.

What it means: Playing slow didn’t work for us last year.

 

Cliche: 8-8 isn’t acceptable this year.

What it means: 8-8 isn’t acceptable this year, until we’re 7-8 heading into our final game.

 

Cliche: Our quarterback looked sloppy in training camp. Let’s just hope it doesn’t resonate into the season.

What it means: Our quarterback is Eli Manning, and it will probably resonate into the season.

 

Cliche: He tore his ACL in practice today and is done for the year.

What it means: He tore his ACL in practice today and is done for the year.

 

Cliche: We had to fill some holes this year.

What it means: Heh… Heh… That’s what she said.

 

Cliche: Grab your playbook and meet coach in his office.

What it means: I’m sorry, Mr. Tebow, but we’re cutting you.

 

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This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

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