New Kid On The Blog

Hello everybody, my name is Christopher Tramontana and as you can see, I’ve had a crappy time bubbling in the ID info on scantrons my whole life.  One of my mottos is to expect the worst in any situation.  That way, when anything other than the worst happens, its unexpected happiness.  Some call that pessimism.  I like to think of it as a life full of mini surprise parties.

I have just joined the Korked Bats Team and I am trying to get all of you as excited about this as I am.
So to kick things off, I’m gonna take you through a few of my personal sports highlights.  We’re gonna pretend that I’m there in person giving you all a private PowerPoint presentation, so play this song in the background then scroll down and read along.

Here I am at the age of 4 doing a pretty good Elian Gonzalez impression.  This was my introduction to sports.  I played tee ball and continued to play baseball for quite some time.

Here I am thinking about which arcade games I’m going to play at Pizza Hut after the game.

Then I grew older…

Here I am playing YMCA basketball.  I set a Y-11 record for time spent standing directly under the hoop. My most memorable moment from this time was when I missed the Music City Miracle so that I could play my Y basketball game.  A valuable piece of Titans history was robbed from my childhood.  As consolation, I got to watch them lose the Super Bowl a couple weeks later.

This was a very weird time in my life.

Here I am with my brothers really excited before the Backstreet Boys concert:

And here we are realizing that we are at a Backstreet Boys concert:

Later on…

Thanks to some good friends, we were able to attend a Dallas Cowboys practice and play around on the field of the old stadium after the Thanksgiving game in 2000.

Here I am meeting John Madden after the practice.  I purposely wore a turtleneck so that you could see where I am.

Jessica Simpson was there, too!  Here I am looking at her [hands].

Here’s a back view of the turtleneck.  I’m still looking at her [hands].

Hall of Famer Troy Aikman was even there!  Here is Troy writing his name on his own jacket so that he doesn’t forget that it’s his.

In the interest of not wasting any more of your time…

Fast forward to today.

I’m not much of an athlete, but I have a passion for sports.  I will always enjoy watching a person who has dedicated a lot of hard work and commitment to their craft in ANY scenario.

I’m ready to get started as a new member of the Korked Bats Team.  I’ve been filled to the brim with weird ideas and now I will be sharing those thoughts with you all.

Cheers!

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This post was created by Chris. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @ChrisTrauma

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats