Thursday, April 25, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

NBA Jam Preview: Raptors, Pistons and 76ers

Let’s continue our look at the rosters in the upcoming re-release of NBA Jam with a breakdown of the Toronto Raptors, Detroit Pistons and Philadelphia 76ers.

If you need reference to the previous article, click here, or navigate around KB and find out what you need.

Hawks and Celtics preview

Let’s get down to this:

Toronto Raptors

Current Players: DeMar DeRozan, Jarrett Jack and Andrea Bargnani

Mascot: The Raptor

So it appears as though Chris Bosh won’t even appear as a Legend for the Raptors (same goes with Vince Carter) because, obviously, neither is retired. Raptors seem to come in as the weakest roster so far, and perhaps in all of the game. Without knowing the statistics of mascots, or the three point shooting tendencies of an extinct dinosaur, I’ll make the following prediction:

Best Potential Lineup: DeMar DeRozan and the Raptor. Like I said, limited options here.

Detroit Pistons

Current Players: Rip Hamilton, Charlie Villanueva, Rodney Stuckey and Ben Gordon

Legends: Isiah Thomas and Bill Laimbeer

A few questions here. 1) Can you option-wear the face guard for Bill Laimbeer? 2) Does the same apply for Rip Hamilton? 3) I know he’s old, but Ben Wallace could be a defensive force on NBA Jam (and Jam has no free throws). Needless of the issues here, I find the lineup to be strong but not dominant.

Best Potential Lineup: Isiah and Laimbeer. Basically just anyone but Villanueva and his massive head (which will be embarrassingly large on this game).

Philadelphia 76ers

Current Players: Andre Iguadala, Elton Brand and Evan Turner

Legends: Dr. Julius Erving and Allen Iverson

This is a formidable fivesome. It also reminds me that the 76ers may not be terrible forever. Turner should be an immediately impactful (not a word) all around guy. Iguadala and Brand are strong, too. But…

Best Potential Twosome: Who wouldn’t play A.I. and Dr. J every single time here? Maybe play Turner if you are bored, but this is going to be a twosome for the ages. Not a lot of size, only potential letdown.

More to come soon! Leave comments if you want your teams to be reviewed sooner!



Kyle is a comedian writer, actor, and producer. You may have seen his standup on CONAN, or somewhere else if you’re really into standup. He has appeared on Fuse, Comedy Central, VH1, and more, and he has written for CBS, Comedy Central, TBS, contributed to Roasts, as well as Huffington Post, CNN, The New York Times, Wired, and a really cool site called Korked Bats.


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