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Friday, April 26, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

My March Madness

It is March again, and it’s time to get mad.

My March Madness starts and ends with one person:

Coach K

Coach Krzyzewski

I have had a crush on him since I thought Lisa Frank binders were the best binders. I do realize that measurement of time isn’t very reliable, but it has been at least 15 years. A few people have questioned my list of celeb crushes in the past (Understandably. My celeb crush list has often included such people as Bob Saget and Howie Mandel from Bobby’s World).

In case people are reading that and questioning my crush, I will now give you a few good reasons for my love, but it honestly doesn’t matter. Coach K has my love even though we could never really get married. Mainly because I could never spell my new last name.

I would like to say that Coach K seems like he would know how to take care of a lady, and I will say that even though he seemingly keeps his eyes during meaningful moments.

Not only does he take care of his woman, but he is not afraid to get down with his bad self. You put your hips in, you put your hips out, you put your hips in and you shake it all about. You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around. Yeah Coach K, that is what it’s all about. Get down with your bad self Coach.

Coach K knows how to make cool and hip friends. He knows how to hang. He might be old, but he doesn’t let that stop him from hitting up Chili’s after a big game with the boyz. With a ‘z’.

He is also a great American.

Maybe he should run for President.

I would vote for my boyfriend him.

Easy.

When it comes to the early days of Coach K, I don’t know if I would have tried to get him to ask me to Homecoming. I don’t know if I would have memorized his schedule or parked by his car in the hopes that I would have caught his eye. Coach K hadn’t really grown into his eyebrows or nose yet. He also didn’t have any gold medals yet. Those help any nose look less offensive, right Michael Phelps?

Bottom Line: Coach K can call me. Anytime. Anywhere. Even if you lose every basketball game from now until forever. March Madness is on. On like Donkey Kong.

• • •

This post is a part of our bi-weekly The Ladies Room posts for Korked Bats.

Follow The Ladies Room on Twitter: @KBLadiesRoom – Or follow Erin, TLR writer: @erinmcgown

As always, be sure to follow Korked Bats and our up-to-the-minute sports jokes: @korkedbats

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