Multiply Your Money! Here Are Gator’s Best NFL Picks On The Internet – Week 7
Ladies and gentleman, the heater we were riding came to a screeching halt last week. Going into Sunday night, we were a horrible 4-7 and needed a miracle to avoid our first losing week. But guess what? A miracle is what we got. The 49ers took down the Rams, and the Chiefs held off the pesky Bills. At 6-7, I felt safe because the last game included the Cowboys. Fun fact, I am now 6-0 this year in games that include Dallas. Why? Because I always pick against them. In these hard times, it’s nice to be rewarded for sticking with my convictions. Also further proof that God hates the Cowboys and their fans. See? Not everything is doom and gloom! (Unless you’re a Cowboys fan or also known as a cockroach). But with that, let’s get into the picks!
Giants @ Eagles (PHI -4.5)
Look, 1-4-1 is not a great record. In any other season and/or division the Eagles would be sellers at the trade deadline, and thinking about using their first 5 draft picks on receivers to help Wentz out. However, The Eagles are in a position where if they beat the Giants and the Cowboys lose, they’ll be in first place in the NFC East. Laugh all you want, but I’m here to tell you that in the NFL, once you’re in the playoffs, anything can happen. With the way 2020 is shaping up, the winner of the NFC East will probably win the Super Bowl. With that said, the Eagles win on Thursday and every meme account scurries to delete their freezing cold takes about Wentz in February when he lifts the Lombardi Trophy.
PICK: Eagles 31, Giants 20
Browns @ Bengals (CLE -2.5)
Oof. Everytime Baker Mayfield thinks he’s good, he goes out and proves otherwise. Yes, the Browns are 4-2, but both their losses came in blowouts against divisional rivals. Watching this Browns team, I really feel for Johnny Manziel. If he had the weapons that Baker has, I think he would have made it in the league. Honestly, if you put a gun to my head and made me choose, I think I would still take Johnny Football over Progressive Baker. Also, I’d like to take this time to officially request that the next “Heisman House” commercial features Johnny Manziel doing a keg stand while Jameis Winston holds his legs. Make it happen, Nissan. Browns still win though.
PICK: Browns 35, Bengals 25
Cowboys @ Football Team (DAL -1)
There’s an old saying in Philadelphia, “I root for two teams, the Eagles and whoever’s playing Dallas.” Thus this week I am a huge Football Team fan. In week 7 and when they play again later in the season, the Football Team is my 2nd favorite football team! Also, the Cowboys need to lose again so we can all relish in the misery of Cowboys fans. The last 5 minutes of Monday Night’s shellacking where the camera panned around to show cockroaches crying was a thing of beauty. I need more of that in my life.
PICK: Cowboys 20, Redskins 23
Lions @ Falcons (ATL -3)
There’s something about firing a horrible coach that really motivates a team. A week after the Texans won their first game after canning O’Brien, the Falcons found their first win after firing Quinn (and didn’t blow a 20 point lead for once). Yes, the Lions won last week as well, but I’m gonna chalk that up to being a fluke. Matt Stafford v. Matt Ryan is a great matchup for those who pine for the easier days of 2013 when they were both elite quarterbacks. So this could be a good nostalgia watch. I won’t be watching, but will still be going with the Dirty Birds.
PICK: Lions 20, Falcons 34
Panthers @ Saints (NO -7.5)
There’s been a lot of talk about Michael Thomas being the new Antonio Brown. I object to that comparison. Antonio Brown did a lot more than just catch 8-yard slant patterns. #Burn All Michael Thomas hating aside, it’ll be interesting to see where he picks up now that he’s back in the lineup, and this seems like a game the Saints should win. However, Teddy Bridgewater has shown over the last few years that he won’t go down without a fight, so I think the second best active NFL quarterback out of Louisville keeps it close.
PICK: Panthers 27, Saints 30
Bills @ Jets (BUF -11)
Never pick the Jets. The Jets could be getting 35 in this game, and I still wouldn’t touch them. The Bills seem to be the type of team that loves to whoop on trash competition, to make up for the fact that they can’t get it done against good teams, so this is the perfect time for Josh Allen to pad his stats against a team that would struggle to win against a college team.
PICK: Bills 42, Jets 6
Packers @ Texans (GB -3.5)
The MVP campaign for Aaron Rodgers was completely derailed with a horrible performance against Tompa Bay, and just like that, they’re no longer division leaders in the NFC North. Believe it or not, they are behind the Bears. The Texans squandered their chance to save their season with an epic overtime loss to the Titans, so I don’t expect much fight out of Houston. With the Packers needing a win to stay with the Bears (feels so weird saying that) I’m expecting a blowout.
PICK: Packers 34, Texans 13
Steelers @ Titans (PIT -1.5)
Wow, I did not see these teams being undefeated this late into the season. They’re both gritty squads with hip coaches that have a mid-west appeal. They’re also both sides that I picked against last week. I’m not a big fan of teams making me look bad, so I’m gonna make a spite pick and say that neither side wins. Ends in a tie which means Tennessee covers.
PICK: Steelers 27, Titans 27
Seahawks @ Cardinals (SEA -3)
This is lowkey the game of the week. The Cardinals looked pretty legit sticking it to Dallas on Monday night, but then again the Cowboys truly suck. The Seahawks are undefeated still, but have depended multiple times on some Russ magic to conjure up some unlikely comebacks. Since 1973, in games that feature two bird mascots the underdog is 345-233 (don’t look this up), so I’m taking the Cardinals in a slight upset.
PICK: Seahawks 30, Cardinals 31
Jaguars @ Chargers (LAC -8)
Justin Herbert has still yet to win a game, even though I pick him every week. Gardner Minshew is contemplating an early retirement as he realizes the team around him is trash. Something has got to give in Los Angeles this week. I’m gonna have to stick with the young quarterback who (allegedly) punctured another man’s lung to get on the field. That shows true commitment, and I’m here for it.
PICK: Jaguars 10 Chargers 34
49ers @ Patriots (NE -3)
A few weeks ago, Ireland declared that the rolls that Subway uses for their hoagies could not be considered bread as they were 10% sugar (ew). Over the summer Bill Bellicheck became a spokesperson for Subway. Is it possible that the biggest cheater of all time convinced to the sandwich chain to cheat with their bread to save a few pennies and get customers addicted. Probably. Subway even got the Patiriot “slap on the wrist punishment” as Subway only had to pay slightly higher taxes for trying to pass sugary crap as bread… There is no justice in this world.
PICK: 49ers 21, Patriots 28
Chiefs @ Broncos (KC -9.5)
Wow, I did not realize that Drew Lock was going to be back last week! Even so, proud of the kid for taking down the big bad Pats! Next on Drew’s list, the Chiefs. I love the kid, but this is probably asking way too much. Chiefs have won the last million games against the Broncos and continue to roll.
PICK: Chiefs 35, Broncos 24
Buccaneers @ Radiers (LV -3)
Big statement win for that old guy who lives in Florida. I have a great uncle who lives in Florida too. Sometimes the elderly just don’t want to deal with winter anymore, and leave for the alluring humidity, high taxes, and endless shuffleboard that Florida has to offer. It makes me wonder though, did shuffleboard come first or was it curling? I know field hockey was created before ice hockey, so maybe the same thing applies here? I don’t know? I feel like Jon Gruden would know though, and that’s why I’m going with him and the Raiders.
PICK: Bucs 28, Raiders 34
Bears @ Rams (LAR -5.5)
What do we make of the Bears? They’re 5-1, but have been the underdogs in their last 3 games. Very fishy stuff. Are the Bears good? Vegas sure doesn’t think so. The Rams looked like a giant pile of doo doo last Sunday Night, and they’re once again in primetime. They can’t put up two stinkers in a row right? This game is a shot in the dark, but I’m guessing the Rams win on a touchdown in overtime.
PICK: Bears 24, Rams 30
