Movember Dreamin’

It’s important for you to know three things before you read this.

1. I love mustaches. Let me start there. My dad always had a sweet mustache when I was growing up, and he even gave it away as a prize once. That’s right. His mustache.

2. I have always been afraid that I have a mustache. Mainly because small children tell the truth and small children like to ask me why I have a mustache.

and finally…

3. I have very vivid dreams, often including my fears. Never including going on dates with any of the top three guys I want to date at any given time.

The other night I was visited by three ghost mustaches. I know that sounds improbable. It was my dreams, leave me alone.

Ghost of mustache past was, you guessed it, Larry Bird.

Okay, you probably didn’t guess Larry Bird would show up as the Ghost of Mustache Past, but he did. Larry Bird took me to into my past to show me my life without mustaches. It was actually really similar to the way my life happened.

Next up was the Ghost of Mustache Present.

You know who showed up?

If you guessed Aaron Rogers, you win. It was Aaron Rogers.

Aaron Rodgers wasn’t able to get a word in because I thought he was one of the members of The Brady Bunch. I just kept asking him about what it was like to be a part of a show that shaped America. Can you blame me for being confused about who exactly he was?

The worst part of my dream was the Ghost of Christmas Future. Guys, it was terrifying. You would hope to be visited by a robot with a mustache he was growing out for charity. You would hope to be visited by Captain Kirk with an awesome mustache. Instead, this happened.

Spoiler alert. In the future, women have mustaches. Just like my nightmares. I will give credit where credit is due. She has flawless skin, but that doesn’t take the mustache away. Poor Sarah Jessica Parker tried to show me the future, but as you can see, I just took this awesome picture of her and then pinched myself awake. No one should have to look at a horse’s woman’s mustache in their dreams.

Well, enjoy the future, where you have more than Aaron Rodgers looking super weird in a mustache to be concerned about.

XO. That’s right. I signed this XO, because you are in The Ladies Room.

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This post is a part of our bi-weekly The Ladies Room posts for Korked Bats.

Follow The Ladies Room on Twitter: @KBLadiesRoom – Or follow Erin, TLR writer: @erinmcgown

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