Mark Zuckerberg Invented Facebook But Doesn’t Know How To Properly Apply Sunscreen

July 20, 2020July 20, 2020 Austin

Mark Zuckerberg surfboards in Hawaii with way too much sunscreen https://t.co/TYcdDmBbZG pic.twitter.com/INyGVPvNY6
— New York Post (@nypost) July 19, 2020

It’s a little disheartening to know that a man so intelligent, who was – and I cannot stress this enough – too smart to stay enrolled at Harvard (freaking HARVARD!), has no idea how to properly rub in sunscreen.

And honestly, I don’t know if this says more about his inability to accomplish everyday mundane human tasks (because he’s obviously a robot), or more about how the people in his inner circle don’t like him enough to point out the fact that it’s not fully rubbed in yet. Which may be even more brutal. This brings up a good point. Always make sure you run with a crew who will tell you when your sunscreen isn’t fully rubbed in. Otherwise you’ll be looking like Data from Star Trek.

Mark’s net worth is $82.9 billion, which coincidentally is the same number of SPF he uses.

Now look, I’m not a dodo bird. I understand people with fair skin need to cake this stuff on more than the average Joe, but that doesn’t negate the fact that you can still rub it in. My man is out here looking like Michael Jackson after the Thriller album.

*“Remember remember the 5th of November.” -Mark Zuckerberg*

Again, it should come as no surprise that Mark can’t figure out how to do basic human functions. His haircut should be your first tell. But anyone with that much money should at least hire a sunscreen-rub-it-inner. Or at least someone to say when too much Coopertone is too much Coopertone. You could literally hug the sun and not need that much sunscreen.

But here we are in 2020, with a titan of Silicon Valley who will go down in history for inventing a website that ~~destroyed the fabric of our American democracy~~ connects the world together, but they’ll never be able to find any pictures of him for the history books without him looking like a doofus. Especially if he can’t make a public appearance without looking like he just tried to kill Jamie Lee Curtis.