Wednesday, April 24, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Limbaugh Got Ram’d

Pretend the following post is a new MTV show brought to you by Ashton Kutcher.

It’s a slight rip off of his previous hit show, PUNK’D, only this one is cooler.

(Or so Kutcher claims. I mean, I’m going to have to say that his view on “cool” has been skewed ever since he married someone nearly twice his age. Ok, it’s not that bad, but she is 15 years older.)

This new Ashton Kutcher MTV show is called RAM’D.

Pilot Episode of RAM’D


Ashton Kutcher:
(wearing a trucker hat that says: ‘Kicked in the footBALLS’)

As many of you guys know, controversial radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh was involved in a group led by St. Louis Blues chairman, Dave Checketts, to place a bid in the purchasing of the St. Louis Rams.

That’s almost as bad of an investment as any movie studio picking up one of my movies!


However, this news brought as much news and controversy to the sports world as Jon and Kate bring to the entertainment world.


On Thursday, Limbaugh used his first amendment rights and went on his radio show to explain the sitch.

He talked about how he knew it would cause an uproar if he went in on this investment and wanted to make sure the NFL would be OK with it before he agreed. Checketts told him that he got it cleared at the “highest levels of the NFL.”

Earlier in the week, the NFL Commissioner, Roger Goodell, and the league owners met to discuss this possibility of Limbaugh co-owning an NFL franchise.

That’s where WE come in!

We got together with the rest of the Goodell and the other owners and talked them into declining any hopes that Limbaugh had to buy stake in the Rams.

This is going to be AWE. SOME.

It was hard talking the league into not letting Rush buy a team. That dude is loved more in the league than the Cowboys Cheerleaders.

(Close up of Kutcher’s wide eyes)


After a few hours of persuading the league, we finally got them in on the prank.

Enough talking from me… Let’s just watch for ourselves!

(On screen:)
“NFL Owners Meeting”
(Undisclosed NFL Owners’ Secret Hideout)

(Discussion between NFL owners)

(Enter Rush Limbaugh)


Hey, guys, sorry I’m late. I just wanted to see if I could still buy the Rams.

(Amongst giggles and snickers from the league owners)


(Ashton Kutcher and the film crew come running out from hiding.)


Ohhhhhhh, you got RAM’D!

(Everyone starts laughing and clapping. An embarrassed Limbaugh begins to smile and give a “You got me” face.)


You got me!


I know, right?!


So can I still buy the Rams?



(Roll credits.)


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.


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