Let Me Be Frank With You…

The NHL couldn’t

I am 22 years of age and can say without any remorse whatsoever that I have NEVER watched a hockey game in my life other than a Nashville Predators game I went to a while back. I know everybody likes to talk about how hockey players are the toughest athletes but I don’t buy it for a second. And is it just me or is 83% of the NHL comprised of some of the ugliest goons you have ever seen, often times looking as far from athletic as possible and missing numerous teeth? Which brings me to my next point, why is fighting allowed? I can’t imagine watching a big game in a real sport coming down to the wire as I bite my fingernails off to the cuticles and all of a sudden a random fight breaks out and I am forced to sit through a bunch of morons punching each other all the while trying to keep their balance on the ice. Lame. Go away hockey. This is AMERICA!

I’m pretty sure Duke has fielded courted the whitest team in college basketball each season since that rat face took over the program. I don’t have much else to say but it’s really mind-boggling to me just how many white guys they have every year. Coach K, haven’t you heard? White men can’t jump. (Weird side note: as I was writing this I looked up at the TV and the headline on OTL was “Only 10% of NBA players are white Americans”). I’m waiting for the next headline to be “97% of all white American basketball players go to Duke”.

I’ve got to admit, I’d be pretty lost without it. Absolute silence is something I never experience at home because I always have ESPN on in the background whether or not I’m watching it or even in the same room. It’s an addiction. The only time I can live without it is the summer time when baseball is the only thing going on. No, I’m not a baseball hater but the length of the season makes it easy to lose interest. This got me thinking, what would my “go-to” channel/show be if ESPN wasn’t invented? Definitely not this devil woman.

If you think otherwise you’re a fool. Once he can get some players around him, in other words leaves Cleveland, it won’t even be a question. Plus he has a better personality, is less selfish, and 10 times more exciting to watch than Kobe. This kind of helps his case with me too. Keep doing your thing LeBron.

I’ve come across a lot of Subway haters in my day and it’s time I put my foot down. Maybe it’s just my sophisticated pallet that gives me the ability to accurately rate different foods, but how can anyone deny the freshness of Subway. Sure Quiznos started the whole “toasty” thing but Subway added a toaster a few years back too. And then there’s the bread. Mmm, I tell you what, decadent. I dare you to go to Subway and order a footlong ham on Italian herbs and cheese bread with everything but onions and some yellow mustard for $5 and tell me you like Quiznos’ better. If you do, you’re probably a Kobe fan too.