LeBron James Wants My Life

It has been brought to my attention that LeBron James is starting to copy me. I have a list. I know, you must be surprised. But allow me to share.

LeBron James started wearing glasses about thirteen minutes after I got my Warby Parkers in the mail.

Exibit A:

Me and my supa’ fly friends.

(Please don’t write me off for using the word supa’.)

Notice my brand new hipster glasses. Yes, they are necessary because I have terrible vision. I got contacts when I was 16-years-old so that someone would ask me to prom. Nobody asked me to prom, but that was probably due to my bangs and acne.

Now, notice Mr. James’ brand new glasses:

Coincidence? I think not.

You know what else isn’t a coincidence LeBron? The fact that you just bought a house that looks remarkably like the house that I bought.

Here is Mr. James’ new home:

Here is my new house. You decide who is copying who:

Please don’t come over to my new house unless you get an invitation. I am trying to keep a low profile after all.

Here was the final straw with LeBron trying to be cool like me.

I can understand the glasses and the house because I really made some good decisions on those things, but this last copy cat move by LeBron, which wasn’t even that good of a decision, just took it too far.

My back tattoo.

I had a weak moment in college and was like, “Yes, I do want a back tattoo.” Tattoos are forever, ya’ll.

I know what you’re thinking, “She sure does a lot of rowing to get back muscles like that.” You’re right. I don’t mess around.

Now, LeBron didn’t copy me word for word, but I get it LeBron. You want to be like me.

I am keeping an eye on LeBron James for now. I will do my best to make better decisions so that he doesn’t end up with any more weird back tattoos.

Although, the worst part about realizing LeBron James is copying your every move, is coming to terms with the fact that you’re now a loser.

Zing.

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This post is a part of our bi-weekly The Ladies Room posts for Korked Bats.

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