Kevin is Embarrassing Kyle on a Weekly Basis – Week 5
Ok, another week, another round of Kevin v. Kyle NFL Picks. The Cowboys blew a game for me, so I almost made one game up. But alas, Kevin is even further ahead. Here’s our picks for Week 5.
Kevin: Philadelphia Eagles 27 • Buffalo Bills 23
People started buying the Bills as a legit team and then of course they lose to the Bengals. Does anyone really believe the Eagles are going to be 1-4 at the end of this week?
Kyle: Eagles 31 – Bills 20: Eagles get back on track.
Kevin: Cincinnati Bengals 18 • Jacksonville Jaguars 13
Jacksonville’s immense fear of the gingers provides the Bengals with enough confidence to overcome being a bad team. Also, the Jaguars are an even worse team than the Bengals.
Kyle: Bengals 14 – Jaguars 20
Kevin: Tennessee Titans 17 • Pittsburgh Steelers 21
I’ve found that it’s normally beneficial to me when I bet against my favorite team to win the game. So… THERE’S NO WAY THE STEELERS LOSE THIS GAME!
Kyle: Titans 20 – Steelers 24
Kevin: Kansas City Chiefs 12 • Indianapolis Colts 15
I told you this was going to be the only week I picked the Colts. The Chiefs blew it by picking up that win last week against the Vikings by the way.
Kyle: Chiefs 24 – Colts 13: We’re 2-3 baby!
Kevin: Oakland Raiders 28 • Houston Texans 23
The Raiders get back above .500, which is still not enough to bring Al Davis back to life.
NOTE: Kevin wrote these picks two days BEFORE Al Davis died. Proof that he is psychic and I am doomed. HE PREDICTED A DEATH. BEWARE OF KEVIN.
Kyle: Raiders 20 – Texans 23: The Raiders pay tribute to Al Davis by doing what they did most of the last years of his life. Losing.
Kevin: Arizona Cardinals 16 • Minnesota Vikings 21
Joe Theismann criticized Donovan McNabb this week. Naturally I want anything Theismann says to be thrown right back at his face because, well… he’s Joe Theismann.
Kyle: Cardinals 20 – Vikings 24
Kevin: New Orleans Saints 31 • Carolina Panthers 21
I guess I have to admit that Cam Newton is actually pretty good (reverse jinx alert).
Kyle: Saints 34 – Panthers 20
Kevin: Seattle Seahawks 0 • New York Giants 35
Let’s look at the facts here. Seattle is traveling across the country to play a 1:00 ET game in New York. It’s an away game for Seattle, which automatically makes them a worse team than they actually are by about 40-50 times (and they are initially horrible). Even Eli Manning can’t screw this up can he?
Kyle: Seahawks 10 – Giants 25
Kevin: Tampa Bay Buccaneers 24 • San Francisco 49ers 13
The 49ers cannot keep winning with Alex Smith at quarterback. I refuse to believe it. I won’t. I will NOT do it.
Kyle: Bucs 30 – 49ers 20
Kevin: San Diego Chargers 34 • Tim Tebow 6 long chants from the crowd to put him in.
It doesn’t matter what I think Denver will score. It only matters if Tebow plays (according to ESPN). By the way, this prediction means the Chargers will win if that wasn’t clear.
Kyle: Chargers 40 – Broncos 14: The Broncos are worse than the Chiefs.
Kevin: New York Jets 17 • New England Patriots: Whatever Rex Ryan’s weight is in points.
Rex Ryan is fat. Hence he weighs a lot. Therefore the Patriots will score a lot of points.
Kyle: Jets 24 – Pats 30: Ryan always plays the Pats close to the belt. Food jokes.
Kevin: Green Bay Packers 35 • Atlanta Falcons 31
So Brett Favre was in the news this week (sigh).
Kyle: Packers 24 – Falcons 32
Kevin: Chicago Bears 27 • Detroit Lions 30
Eventually the Lions will lose, but I can’t pick it this week because Mike Martz is involved with the team playing against them.
Kyle: Bears 31 – Lions 34
Kevin 33-15 : Kyle 24-23
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