Thursday, April 25, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Kareem and Sugar

Ever wonder what Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (not the football one) used to do in his spare time at the height of his popularity and basketball career?

Yeah, we didn’t really either. However, we did find these pretty ridiculous pictures of him. Let’s take a look.

Upon first glance of this photo, we quickly realize that next to basketball, Kareem’s passion is oriental rugs. Good gosh, the guy has them everywhere. He has one on the floor, two on the wall and I’m pretty sure those pillows are made of them as well. What the heck Kareem? Oriental rugs are cool and all, but really?

Of course, I’m not even going to touch on his love for plants having those ugly pots filled with plants and pictures of plants next to the wall rugs.

Let’s next talk about golden polo and sweatpants sitting to Kareem’s left. We’ll call her Brenda. As if this woman didn’t look homely enough, she had to go ahead and give herself those braided pigtails. Not to mention, I’m pretty sure Brenda stole her wardrobe from April O’Neil of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Speaking of her wardrobe, she is probably the proud owner of this sweatshirt. Brenda is also saying something that probably isn’t funny although she’d beg to differ as she is laughing while talking. Meanwhile, Kareem is regretting ever inviting this woman over for a friendly game of dominoes.

I bet the dialogue in this photo went a little something like this:

Brenda: “And I was like, Sherry, you can’t cut your dog’s hair while giving it a bath! It just doesn’t work like that! (Laughs)”

Kareem: “Heh. Yeah. Right.”

Or maybe it went something like this:

Brenda: “So why are you guys called the Lakers?! There aren’t any lakes in Los Angeles! That’s just so silly!”

Kareem: (mumbles to self) “Kill me please.”

Or it could have gone like this:

Brenda: “My friend Lydia told me that certain shoes and socks can cause cancer, so I just don’t wear either anymore. How about that?!”

Kareem: “Greeeat.”

Or possibly:

Brenda: “Do you ever wonder why they call this game dominoes? I mean, these little pieces don’t have noses! They shoud call it domi-no-faces! That’s more accurate.”

Kareem: (thinks to self) “This woman must have downs.”

Needless to say, by the look of this picture, Kareem did not, what the kids say, “Get Some” on this night. He would, by the looks of the next picture, much rather play the bongos alone in his house then spend any more time with Brenda.

Yeah, playing the bongos to that brand new Earth Wind & Fire vinyl sounds a lot better than hanging out with Brenda. Of course anything sounds better than hanging out with Brenda. That chick was annoying! Go ahead, Kareem. Let out some steam by banging on those bongos in your other room with oriental rug drapes. Jeeze, he’s got an oriental rug fetish.

But we can’t complain, at least he didn’t go Matthew McConaughey on us and play his bongos naked in his apartment.


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.


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