Jerry Jones Knows The Future

There’s psychics, fortune tellers, and Jerry Jones.

Last week, after the Dallas Cowboys lost to the Jacksonville Jaguars, 35-17, owner Jerry Jones took it upon himself to personally apologize to fans for the team’s poor performance this season. After the game, Skeletor was quoted saying (via Yahoo! Sports):

“I’m embarrassed,” Jones said. “Of course I am. And to every fan, I should have and do take the ultimate, ultimate responsibility. I do. That’s the way we’re structured. That’s the way I run it. There’s no question that I have the plan and executing it to have the best players and the best coaching that we can have. I’m dumbfounded that we are 1-7.”

What’s so special about this quote? Well, last week after the loss to the Jaguars, the Cowboys were only 1-6. That’s insane! Jerry somehow knew the Cowboys were going to lose this week to the Packers to fall to 1-7. Either that or he was just like the rest of us and assumed his team was going to lose.

But still, what else does Jerry know that we don’t?

(::says under breath::) Obviously not how to run a professional football team… ZING!

However, Jerry is still the Mrs. Cleo of NFL team owners. Can you answer anymore of our questions, Jerry?

Will Justin Garrett actually win a game as the Cowboys new head coach? Will Cam Newton still win the Heisman even after recent negative news has been surfacing about him? Will Apple release the iPhone on a cell phone service provider other than AT&T? Will Celine Dion’s new twin babies be as weird as her?

Tell us more, Jerry. Tell us more.