Is Derrick Henry Really Who He Says He Is? A Deep Dive Investigation Into The Truth.
We are all familiar by now with the exploits of King Derrick Henry II… Josh Norman in particular.
Here it is again in real time…
But, I digress, we aren’t here to continue to make fun of Josh, the rest of the internet has already taken care of that. Including us…
We are here to take a closer look at Derrick’s past, specifically his high school years, to determine if this man among boys truly is who he says he is.
Let’s start at the beginning of high school, with “Derrick’s” (if that is his real name) freshman year.
This is where my questioning really begins — where’s his face? We can’t even put a face to a name for this alleged 15-year-old who apparently hit puberty 5 years prior to this. This kid (clearly a grown ass man) put up these numbers against varsity players who were 17, 18 and 19 (for the really dumb kids) years old.
These are Wilt Chamberlain numbers… from a child. Yeah right. Moving on to his sophomore season…
Where he seemingly shrunk 2 inches while also gaining 15 pounds. Makes sense. That’s usually what happens to 6-foot, 4-inch teenagers — and again…still no face, yet they expect us to believe this was really Mr. Henry? As you can surmise, he went on to do this that year…
It’s not until two years later as a senior that he finally completes his alias and we get a first real look at “D. Henry.”
By the time he was graduating, “Derrick” amassed the most absurd career stats I have ever seen…
I will let you be the judge, but those statistics are preposterous. I realize high school football is not the NFL, and numbers are inflated for extremely talented players, but those are crazier than video game stats. Not to mention, he was playing in Florida, which typically has a bevy of D-1 recruits. For 40 consecutive games he never rushed for less than 100 yards, including once running for 502 yards in a single game — that is the consistency of a cyborg. As a running back that clearly got the ball on every single play, over the course of four football seasons he never missed a game and never had a bad game. Think about that for a second.
So with all that being said, I leave you with these questions:
Is Derrick Henry a robot? Is he a time traveler (which would explain his erratic height and weight changes)? Are his high school years a very loose inspiration for the film “Juwanna Mann” and the character of Carlos in “The Benchwarmers”?
My guess… all of the above.
