Monday, April 22, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

In Case Anyone Forgot, Rob Manfred Is Here To Remind You That He Is, Indeed, The Worst

The greatest gymnasts in the world can’t walk around with their foot in their mouth with as much as ease as that doofus Rob Manfred can. How can this guy be so bad at P.R.? If he’s not downplaying the World Series trophy (a trophy that’s literally named the Commissioner’s Trophy) as a “piece of metal” or publicly chastising his league’s players during a lockout (not a strike) started by the league’s owners, then he’s crapping on an entire market – one of only thirty in the Major Leagues – for actually supporting their team in the wake of one of the worst things a fan base can endure. What a – and I cannot stress this enough – tool. To give a sarcastic answer like that, basically spitting in the face of every A’s fan, how is this man allowed to be in charge of baseball? Having him as commissioner would be like hiring Cruella de Vil to run a canine adoption clinic.

A’s fans are down so bad right now, and in a last-ditch effort to try and save their team from their insatiably greedy overlords who “own” their team, they get kicked while they’re down by the one man who should be at very least pretending he’s got the fans’ best interest in heart. And sure, ol’ Madonna Mouth works for the owners, so he needs to protect their best interests at heart. I understand the role of a commissioner. But there’s a way to do it without making a public ass of yourself at every waking moment. Now, you may not be invested in this entire A’s relocation saga, but don’t worry. Whenever your favorite team is tied up in anything similar, you can rest assured the commissioner of the sport will unzip his pants and take a big ol’ dump all over your fanbase. The only people not rooting for the A’s to stay in Oakland are A’s ownership, the people of Las Vegas (except the ones who are still hungover from the Cup Final), and that gap-toothed doofus who commissions the sport, apparently. He remains the absolute worst. Get a clue, Manfred. Then get braces.

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Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.