Monday, April 22, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Hug A Reds Fan Today

Well, the terms of the deal have finally been disclosed. In Cinncinnati’s deal with the devil, it’s clear they sacrificed the Reds for the Bengals to make it to a Super Bowl. I know sacrificing one of your city’s two professional sports teams should probably feel like it should guarantee you a Super Bowl win, but as Angels In The Outfield taught us, spiritual forces take a back seat when it comes to championship games.

For a lot of bad teams, they’re usually out of contention by June. For the Reds, their season ended before May. Part of it is horrendous luck, the other part is the fact that they traded away (or failed to re-sign) most of their talent from last year. This is a team that won 83 games last year. This year, they’re 3-19 to start, tying the worst start in the modern era. I know On Pace Guy usually goes into hibernation after Opening Day, but with this start by the Reds, he has emerged and seen his shadow again. Because this year’s Reds team is ON PACE to go 22-140 this season.

Personally, I’ve always had a soft spot for the Reds since they signed Ken Griffey Jr. I even have a Griffey-Reds jersey. And then Brandon Phillips was fun as well. And now they’ve got arguably the most fun player in baseball, Joey Votto. The Reds have always been fun. Which is why it sucks that they suck right now. So if you know a Reds fan, give them a hug. Or send them a Skyline Chili gift card. Or go one step closer, and make them some Skyline by throwing up on a plate and serving it hot.


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.