How Many Monoliths Did It Take Before Everyone Was Completely Over Them? The Answer Is 3
Last week, I blogged about that monolith that mysteriously showed up in the middle of a Utah desert. A lot has transpired since then. It disappeared. Then reappeared in Romania, and now apparently there’s another in California.
A week ago I literally had to Google, “monolith definition,” and now here we are on the edge of extinction with these popping up everywhere. Hell, even Carson Wentz was picked off by one the other day.
Now that there are multiple with no idea as to how they got to where they are, I figured this would be dire news. But apparently, like a moron, I forgot this is 2020, and no one cares about anything anymore.
You would think that in a year like 2020, literally the Murphy’s Law of years – where anything that can go wrong will go wrong, people would assume the worst with this.
But no. People are annoyed that these things could potentially be teasing a Super Bowl commercial or something. Keyword: potentially. We have no idea what these things are, and people are like: BORED ALREADY! or WHAT A LAME ASS MARKETING CROCK!
What the hell happens if these actually are aliens? Hell, NASA already admitted to UFO’s AND parallel dimensions earlier this year (another couple of stories we just kinda glossed over because we apparently only care about the Aunt Becky going to jail, Chuck E. Cheese selling pizza under a fake name, and crap like that).
Think about that. If Independence Day took place today, people would be annoyed by these floating spaceships showing up.
“Ugh. Just tell me what this lame marketing campaign is for already.”
“I’m so sick of these big ass spaceships. All they’re doing is blocking the sun.”
“I’m already bored with these spaceships.”
But fine, let’s say the monoliths are, in fact, a marketing ploy. I’d say it’s a pretty damn good one. Not only have these things been dropped out of nowhere with no one knowing how or when they got to their locations, but it also has everyone talking about them, And if the web traffic we got on our blog about it is any indication, then these things garnered A LOT of attention worldwide.
If this is all some ploy for the launch of the new Skechers Shape-Ups, then well done Skechers. You literally did the weirdest, most creative, and somewhat creepiest launch of all time. We should give that company props. Not crap on them because more than two tweets showed up in our timelines talking about monoliths.
But look, until Energizer announces their lithium ion batteries or Cricket Wireless announces their nationwide 5G plan, I’m going to assume the same thing we all should. That these metal pylons are sent from space and we’re probably all going to die.
