Green Ooze Was Found Underground In Toronto, So Don’t Tell Me The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Aren’t Real
Oh. Ok. Just a normal thing to find inside a sinkhole, I guess.
WHAT THE HELL?!
How are more people not freaking out about this? Not to go with the cliche 2020 joke, but the fact that this is not making bigger, worldwide news just goes to show how awful of a year it has been. How are more people not freaking out that there’s toxic-looking ooze flowing under the streets of Toronto? Like I’d expect this underneath the streets at Nickelodeon Studios in Orlando, Florida (RIP in peace), but not in Canada.
Sure, we all know Canadians are healthier than Americans, but that’s not an excuse to have a river of kombucha flow through your sewer system. If I was the head of Toronto’s municipal city works, I would have a crew down in that sewer ASAP looking for a rat teaching some young turtles karate and/or eating pizza. Because otherwise, you’ll fine a Beebop and/or a Rock Steady – which means you’ll have much bigger problems on your hands.
According to the article:
‘Toronto Water staff inspected the sinkhole yesterday evening. Sinkholes can be the result of a damaged or collapsed sewer,’ a spokesperson told 680News.
‘In order to determine if the sinkhole is connected to the underlying sewer, a dye test was conducted using a green non-toxic dye, which is added to the sinkhole while monitoring the closest manhole downstream to look for traces of the dye in the sewer.’
via Daily Mail
Oh sure. They put that green liquid in there ON PURPOSE? Ok. Like we’re supposed to believe that. That’s be like the mayor of Amity Island saying he put JAWS in the ocean on purpose. That’s a save-our-own-ass excuse if I’ve seen one. If you were going to pour dye into your own sewer to see if it traced into your water system, why would you make it the same color as the Incredible Hulk’s serum and/or Surge?
Look, I don’t have answers for why Toronto’s underground is full of Gak, I’m just the messenger. I just hope none of that oozes its way south into America. We have enough problems as it is without having to worry why our water looks like Slimer from Ghostbusters.
